2021 came in with a lot of hope .. and through all the shit, it still brought us hope for the upcoming 2022.
2021 was much better than the previous year. I think that goes without saying. For many people, these last 12 months were mostly a continuation of 2020, but with less Armageddon raining down on them. For me, I did take some stock of my life, and tried to figure out where I fit in going forward, marching towards the rest of my existence on this third rock from the sun.
It's still amazing that I look at things in a divided way .. everything is either from before March 2020, or since March 2020. I can't helping thinking within those parameters. I guess it's to be expected I guess. "Wow, that was back in 2019, so she (my forever person) would have known about .." or "She never got to see .."
It's much easier to deal with now, but it still affects everything that I ponder. I am so blessed to have a new girlfriend that understands, and allows me the space and support to comprehend everything and lets me grieve on my own terms. (Damn, this is so hard to write.) Christmas was an adventure, as it was her first time 'celebrating' without her mother alive, but we were there for each other, and muddled through it, and had a decent enough time to enjoy the holidays as best we could. Her family was relatively inviting to me as well, so that is a plus.
As I'm writing this, I am back at the apartment, and since I was at the GF's place over Christmas weekend, I was able to compartmentalize most of my thoughts, but am alone now until New Year's Eve. The "olden days" are playing in my mind, and the distractions have faded, so I'm facing them head on at the moment.
I am feeling sad, but there is such a strong hope for what is still to come in my life though. I've got more things to experience, and more things to share with a new person .. with many new people. I still have memories to get me through, and the chance to make more too, regardless of the before and after nature of it all.
I hope that 2021 treated you fairly at least, and let you thrive, and be comfortable in your own skin. I wish that whatever charms and goodness that came into your life so far, will multiply at least threefold in 2022.
So raise your glass if you are wrong .. In all the right ways.
All my underdogs. We will never be, never be; Anything but loud,
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks.
Won't you come on, and come on, and raise your glass;
Just come on, and come on, and raise your glass!
Pink was my forever person's favorite artist. Whenever she was sad, or felt left out, she'd just CRANK the music up and sing along, shout along, dance along. Raise your glass for her tonight, OK? Thanks!