Come inside and listen to the almost real story of Dee trying her best to just chill out and veg!
What do you do to relax? I wish I could, but I'm really tightly wound. Have trouble shutting off my brain. I've tried self-hypnosis, guided hypnosis, meditation etc .. and I'm just too twitchy and antsy to just be able to get in any sort of zone. The slightest bit of relaxation and I snap back to reality. I wonder if it's just a part of my mania for control, or biological reactions, defense mechanisms, or something else entirely.
ASMR can make me sort of feel good occasionally, but individual videos wears out quickly, and then I'll never be able to use them to relax again, as it gets on my nerves .. maybe it's too predictable and I listen like it's a song? Hell, tonight when I was trying to find something to take the edge off me, I actually was fast-forwarding / skipping parts of a bunch of videos, hoping I could get to a relaxation part! YES, ASMR videos were GIVING me anxiety! ARRGHH!
I wrote the first two paragraphs last night, with no caption in mind at all. Just wanted to document how I was feeling. I am still quite tense, and I'm hoping that a gummy edible will take some of the edge off me. I came back today and figured I might as well use my discomfort to write up a caption, and just went looking for a picture that oozed contentment and a Zen like serenity. I really do hope I can find it someday.
But so far, not much. And sorry if I left you hanging in the caption, as I did that by design. Maybe you can fill in the blank for yourself. I don't seem to have a happy place where I can just picture myself at peace. I'm also not good at visualizing. Hell, being in front of the computer surfing the internet seems to be where I am most of the time, and that's good for me most of the time. It's also my real-life job, so I can truthfully say that I spend 12-14 hours a day/night in front of a screen. Sounds sort of pathetic, but it's what I choose to do.
Anyway, if you've got any recommendations on how I can get some meditation / quiet time / etc .. where I won't go completely insane, and gives me time to shut off my brain, please let me know below. Plus, leaving comments about the captions I make do make me cheerful too! Making captions is definitely a way to get serotonin flowing through my body!
Got a two part caption "series" coming soon. Be on the lookout for that. It's already written up and ready to roll out, perhaps on Sunday night? We shall see!