But your gut will always tell you exactly how you feel, regardless of the facts.
I wanted and needed a happy ending (not the sexual kind!) tonight, and the best way to do that is to make one for yourself. I had this caption setting for quite some time but couldn't find anything to really do with it. I actually had started a caption with it a few months ago but ended up using a different picture that worked better with the story I came up with. You can find it here. And yes, I made the right decision to not use this picture.
This photo was not condescending or bitchy. She seems to have a playful nature, even though she holds all the cards. When I opened up this file tonight, I was drawn to the home office nature of it, and the movie Misery popped into my head for some reason, but not in a menacing way. This person was obviously a fan and wanted to meet the person behind the persona .. and from there, the story pretty much wrote itself. Like I said, I wanted a personal happy ending.
As I was writing it, I was thinking about all the people I've come in contact with through the Haven and here in this blog, and those who don't come around anymore. I would like to think that I've made them laugh, smile, get aroused, occasionally think about something they might not have pondered before, and forget about their troubles and escape for awhile. That is my wish for every caption I post. They aren't present now, but do they think about the captions I've made for them, perhaps have them on a flash drive hidden in their underwear drawer that they pull out from time to time? Did I inspire their own desires, and possibly share them with their significant other and see them through?
Do they know that they kept me going through rough times of my own, when I needed someone to tell me that I made them something they enjoyed, or made a caption for me that touched me in some way? And I think that is the point of this caption. That what exactly is "real" sometimes?
You all are probably more real to me than the person that hands me a bagel at Dunkin Donuts and wishes me a nice day, all the while stewing that I bitched about how they were supposed to slice but NOT toast it, thank you very much! It doesn't matter what you are in a physical form .. I know you on a deeper level than that. I don't think I've hidden that while Dee Dee is definitely a fantasy figure, Dee is the idealized Damien. We are one in the same, though we take on different forms. That is truth, and that is also my reality. Neither one is any more real, and that is also the truth.
It does seem ironic that we, while we are not exactly who we present ourselves to be here in the TG community, often are more real and truthful here than in actual meat space?
As someone who was in the mental health field for a number of years, I try to tell people that people's perceptions ARE their reality, whether it is a truthful one or not. I think that has helped me in my dealings with others in the real world, but also to help others figure out their own ways of determining what they want and need their reality to be.
We are all on this blue-green marble together. Let's all figure out some fundamental truths about ourselves together! The more the merrier!
DISCUSSION QUESTION: Do you feel more "real" in your day to day dealings with others, or more truthful about yourself when you are in your online persona here within the TG community? Do you segment those parts of yourself, or are they integrated, either mentally or physically? Lastly, what do you think of the premise of the caption? If you were unable to unlock the secrets, would you share them with the people here you care about?