.. can make all the difference in Sarah's wardrobe!
Made this for a newbie to the Haven, SarieMarie, who made her first trading caption for me! It is always nice to have someone start off their trading with me, and I think it is definitely an honor. I took my time to make sure that I fit in at least a few preferences .. in this case a redhead and some preppy plaid (plus tights) rolled into the caption. Since I don't know her well, I stuck to a standard telling with a bit more description in the transformation that I might for another person I've made captions before in the past. Luckily, I didn't have to put as much pressure upon myself to be the first to post in her folder, as a few people have already gifted her captions
Still though, I sat on it overnight, wanting to make sure I still did a good job and not overwrite it .. which tends to be more of a rookie issue usually. When doing a descriptive arrangement though, we can go overboard, and I wanted to makes sure the text was legible and stood out enough against the picture, which gave me the idea of being in front of a dressing room mirror.
Here is the original from the night before. It isn't QUITE finished in that I didn't multiply layers, add final touch-ups, etc .. but once I decided I wanted to edit it down, I figured I'd keep the original to post here for comparison. As you can see, I chopped out the entire second paragraph. I could make an argument for cutting out the "As a bargain shopper .." paragraph as well, but I thought it fleshed out the Matthew character slightly and wasn't a hindrance space wise.
That editing made the first sentence seem awfully short and "hung out to dry" in transitioning to the now second (previously thrid) paragraph so I wanted to flesh it out just a bit. Most people will recognize Johnny Cash as "The Man in Black" so I figured subconsciously, it would reinforce the first sentence and show Matthew as the "common man in black" as opposed to a Goth.
Having hatcheted the original second paragraph, I was free to make the text larger and stand out more. After that, I think I changed a few words for clarity, put his spoken thought into italics, then finished cleaning it up. I am much happier with the revision that was posted to her trading folder. My only regret is that I couldn't tie something from the beginning into the end. Most of the best captions can fold in on themselves layer wise, and since this was more of a "Grind It Out" caption, as opposed to a moment of inspiration, it didn't quite have an internal logic to circle back the wagon.
Thanks for humoring me on the "muse" caption I posted on Saturday. Sometimes to paint within the lines, you have to smear bodily fluids upon your padded walls to keep a balance. Truly a blank canvas moment that was, while not inspired, therapeutic at best.