Dee-lusions of Grandeur

Well, she caught your red handed on the other foot now, didn't she?

I was still thinking about Kate Southerland's preferences as I was wandering around the internet looking for some good pictures, when I came upon a trove of bimbo pictures. This one just fascinated me, and I thought up the idea on the spot of the clueless person thinking something much more elaborate was going on than the true reality. From there, she had mentioned Smitty in her preferences, and I thought about the whole Alpha male thing and how it usually works. As I wrote in the posting on Rachel's Haven:

Well, I wasn't planning on doing another caption for you so soon, but had your preferences in mind when I came across this picture. The plot came to me and then I wrapped it around a Dee version of a Smitty story (Alpha male changes a competitor) .. like a detective revealing all the clues that lead to the capture of the bad guy but with that Dee twist!

Perhaps Curt was doing a bit of a Columbo routine but I don't really think so! I can't think of anything more fun than writing dialog and captions for Bimbo characters. If there are any captioners out there that feel burnt out or feel like they've lost their muse .. please try to write a bimbo caption and it will immediately make your day so much brighter and cheerful. Just by their very nature, they are fun-loving and bubbly beyond belief, and quite naive as they take everything they see at face value. What isn't there to like about a character with those traits?

Anyway, I think this is another one of those "Dee in a nutshell" types of captions people think of when they think of me, and its a niche I have no problems swimming around in. The last caption I am very proud of, and if you crossed that one and this caption, I think you have a pretty good Venn Diagram of where my captioning skills lay.

As I was writing this up, Kate replied to the caption. She had this to say!

My goodness, this is well constructed. The image is so interesting! And the text you came up with fits it wonderfully well. I would stare at that reflection for hours too!

I think it's cute that she thinks it could be a VR screen. I've very much enjoyed the VR caps I've read and toyed with the idea of doing a vr scenario if I can pull together the right caps for the series.

Was looking through my "mundane" email this morning, and saw this header from Amazon,

"Black Rubber Soft Silicone Skin" and wondered how much research they had been doing in my other personas! However, it was just an advertisement for an MP3 player that I bought awhile back. One certainly does get their hopes up just a tad though when they see that early in the morning!

Identity is the crisis can't you see?
Identity, identity.
When you look in the mirror do you see yourself?
Do you see yourself on the t.v. screen?
Do you see yourself in the magazine?
When you see yourself does it make you scream?

Identity is the crisis can't you see?
Identity, identity, Yeah!

Identity is the crisis can't you see?
Identity, identity.
When you look in the mirror do you smash it quick?
Do you take the glass and slash your wrists?
Did you do it for fame?
Did you do it in a fit?
Did you do it before you read about it.

I will be at the movies tomorrow night to see a simulcast of Rifftrax riffing "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" so don't expect another posting until Friday!

I'm sure you'll get it right THIS time .. who doesn't love a good pint of maple syrup!

Wanted to post something tonight, but we have house guests over tonight so this will be quite short. Busy weekend here and I'm not sure if I'll have time to make some captions. Luckily I do have a few photos placed into caption settings so if I get a few moments of peace around here, I can try to whip something up for the Haven and/or this blog. More than likely, it will be an older caption from the d'arkhives posted here over the weekend.

Quickly on the caption. Things have become so PC lately, that its almost impossible to pick on any ethnic group, so Canadians get picked on because .. why WOULD you discriminate against them? They are so nice and polite usually, that its not a big deal .. hence the humor of this caption.

Hope people are all amped up for Christmas which is only a few weeks away. This year seems to have gone by so friggin' quickly. Time goes by quicker when you get older I guess! Still doesn't seem like I've been captioning all that long ago, and when I look at my older work, I can still remember most of the thoughts behind each creation as if it was yesterday!

It'd be even funnier if this band was Canadian, but they aren't. They are from New Hampshire!

Not a fan of Rush, but what the hell! They actually ARE from Canada!

.. I'll reference an 80's cartoon for a caption, just for shits and giggles!

Found this residing in Jinny's picture folder on Rachel's Haven, and I just had to tackle it. Wrote it up fairly quickly even though I never really watched the cartoon much at all. I preferred the antics of a non-scrappy version of Scooby Doo, Laff-Olympics, Warner Brother's cartoons, and such.

Apparently, according to Simone, the reference is totally "old school" which I guess is interesting to me because I guess that makes me old! Then again, my daughter is out of high school now and only knows the Flintstones from the vitamins, and had no idea they were a cartoon show .. and since the Honeymooners were WAY before MY time, I know she has no idea who the Flintstones were based on I'm sure. For her, Rugrats "All Growed Up" is old school!

Anyway, it looks like the shit storm of ice and snow is going to nail us soon, though its more ice than snow .. so I might try to go in later tomorrow and avoid everyone sliding into each other, but I'll only know that in the morning. How did every else do? Did you get a whole lot of snow and ice? I hope everyone made it through ok, and damn what a fun NFL game to watch Philly and Detroit play in those huge snowflakes and 8 inches of snow on the ground!

I am going to start highlighting some of my favorite Christmas songs, but first I'd like to post some naughty songs of the past. I think I've highlighted, "Shave em Dry" which is probably one of the nastiest songs of the 1930's. This one is a bit more "refined" if that is something that could be said.

No, it's not Azrael, it's "My Girl's Pussy"!!

Another one from the "Shave em Dry" lady! Wonder when COCK started being used for only male sex organs? Back then it just stood for a sex organ, both male and female! Anyone have any idea of when that started? I'd certainly like to know!

This is your brain .. this is your brain en femme .. any questions?

When I visited Kaitlyn's blog site this morning, I was intrigued by this particular caption, which was in the form of a Public Service Announcement aka a PSA. When I was a radio DJ, we occasionally had to read one of these things, or play a pre-recorded one, and we used to call them Pissers, cuz they took all the fun and jocularity out of the show. Nothing like a good old, "smoking while pregnant can lead to low fetal weight or premature babies," spot to get the party started!

She mentioned possibly making more, and truth be told, I wanted in on the action! Well, especially since my mind started playing 2 of the most famous PSA's of the 1980's. One was the, "this is your brain on drugs, any questions?" commercial, and the other I referenced in today's caption. Its such a product of the late 80's and early 90's. We'll quote it in the household at least once a month. "Sweetie, who taught you to swear like a sailor?""From YOU Dad. I fuckin' learned by listening to you!"

The hardest thing about making the caption was finding a suitable picture that would work. I wanted to find a androgynous guy on a bed, so I could try to recreate the commercial as best I could. I knew I wouldn't be able to find a dad holding up lingerie in front of his son who is drumming on a bed, so I searched until I found the best photo I could find. This one worked out perfectly .. and it wouldn't have shocked me if I came up with the idea for this caption if I saw this picture first.

From what I hear, Miss Simone is gong to do a PSA or two as well. Perhaps tonight, but she really likes to make sure they are polished, and her design takes much more work than what I do, so be on the lookout for it when its posted! Sounds like its going to be a lot of fun to read!

Apparently, Caitlyn enjoyed Simone and my PSA so much she made her own which you can see HERE! Its like a tidal wave of PSA captions! If you are a TG captioner out there, why don't YOU try and make one too! Join in the fun!

So, I guess I can start with the Christmas songs now, right? Nah, but here's a video from a band that WILL have one of their Christmas songs posted here in the next week or so!

If the government could read my mind, they'd know I'm thinking of you!

Look out! That booty is about to explode!

Made this one for Jeannie, who in her preferences, mentioned that she wouldn't mind, "Becoming a girl with a great ass," and didn't mind a cultural change. I was surfing the web for nothing in particular when I came across a photo set from this hot lady, and the idea took shape .. as did that thick luscious backside. Its a pretty standard caption, and the only thing that could even be counted as somewhat original is tying in a "the hornier you are, the curvier you get" which leads to the magical garment becoming ripped and trapping him. I think in this case, I really couldn't fuck this up too badly, and just let the words enhance the visuals.

I mentioned in Simone's blog in regards to the PSA captions we all made, that our captions will probably garner some comments, and most likely less than half of the usual page hits. Sad to say that on this end at least, I was very prescient. Compared to the Smurfs caption, which has zero comments so far, the PSA caption has about 45 percent less views .. and complete page views dropped by 50 percent as well, even though there was a "new" caption (aka less than 24 hours) for people to see.

What does this mean? People loved the "cleverness" of the pop culture references (as pertaining to the comments and others, including Courtney of Courtney's Clean Caps making their own) but most people don't give a damn .. and that is fine with me. It was definitely made more for my captioning "sisters in arms" so to speak and to give myself a big chuckle. It succeeded in spades for both and my creative fulfillment was satisfied.

We only had one entry in the DIY from last week .. from Ian.

And luckily for us, it's a pretty good one too! Would love to see some more people submitting!

There is the next DIY project for you to tackle! Just whipped it up good and fresh!

How many times do you get to see David Gilmour play a bass solo?

What's the best escape you could hope for .. spontaneous combustion?

Zombie Apocalypse? Not in THOSE heels you won't!

I've been in a pretty good mood lately and its probably reflected on the captions I've been making recently. Not that I can't make a perfectly delightful humiliating caption when I'm jovial, but maybe its the time of year where I want happy endings, or at least to stem the tide for those suffering.

For those of you who have been following the story of Leeanne's journey through sissification and now cuckolding on her blog, she posted what I would call a respite or breather post about the aftermath of the initial whirlwind of emotions that she had with her cheerleader as they came to terms with making fantasy into reality. Its quite exhilarating and stomach-twitching, often at the same time.

After reading all the articles so far (I believe she will catch up to the present day at some point but I think most people don't mind her taking her time!) I know that while I probably wouldn't mind being a sub occasionally (which I've done maybe once or twice as I am usually much more dominant) that being a sissy, and cuckolded and/or in chastity is not something I would look forward to and most likely would NOT be my destiny!

When I read it, I tended to identify with Randall a bit, and even more with Andrea. The writing is so top notch, that Leeanne's writing can't help but bring you into her mindset, and when I feel like I'm occupying "her space" for the lack of a better term, I get uncomfortable there and end up popping out into some sort of observer watching the preceding through a filter. I guess it also makes me reevaluate my thoughts on lifestyle, kinks, fantasy, and the reality it can effect.

The most recent post was great because it showed the interaction between Leeanne and her Cheerleader after the roles started getting redefined and how it changed the dynamic between them. Its not a caption where one's fate is determined in 200 or so words. There is a price to be paid, over time and how people cope forms the basis for how life proceeds. Some will be good, and others probably can't be avoided. You can only hope to be ahead of the game when its time get up from the table and cash in whats left of your earnings.

I tend to make "Snapshots of a Moment in Time" to capture certain elements of that, whether its a more realistic situation or one borne of magic or fantastical technology .. I want the humanity underneath to still come out and make them seem ALIVE! Leeanne's story strings those events together one after another and its why I love following her story, even when I can't necessarily identify, I can understand better something I'd never experience on my own.

Unfortunately for every Leeanne, there are probably 10-15 other stories that end on a much worse note. Its just the way things seem to go and I know why. People evolve and change as it is, and when you hide something like TG from a loved one, it can be way too much to comprehend. "What did I do wrong?" is often the significant others thought as opposed to, "Can I handle this?" or "I need to understand why they feel this way and see if I can adjust." Marital relationships are complicated enough that when you add extra "Drama" it can be overwhelming and often the last straw.

This caption is a hopeful shout out to all the future Leeanne's out there that I am rooting for you! Its meant to be uplifting AND hopefully give you a warm, twitchy feeling in your panties! Its a good night if I can do both at the same time!

What's Your Name? Little Girl, What's Your Name?

Maybe because I don't like the answers?

After making you think last night, I figured I'd give everyone a breather, including me. We are going to get some snow tomorrow evening and both the GF and I got paid today so we went to a few stores to stock up on essentials since we hadn't done any grocery shopping in at least a week. Just getting back now and its just easier to post this caption that I believe fell through the cracks back in March.

I don't recall making this for anyone, and it doesn't seem to have been posted here as well. Last night I went through my captions folder looking for captions I made and forgot about, caption settings without text in them, and things like that. I ended up with 9 or 10 in total, and I think one of the things I might do if I get bored, or tired from shoveling, is try to finish them all. It'd also be nice if I could whip up a few new Christmas captions, but I'm not pushing myself too hard lest I make some crappy ones just to say I did. I am quite proud of the ones from last year as well as previous years, so I want to make sure I make something worthy of my past work.

Since there are 12 days left until Christmas, seems like a good enough time to start posting some Christmas music here on the blog. Forgive me if I have posted these in the past. Perhaps I just love some of these so much I have to post them again!

Here is a traditional song. My mom used to play this album every year when putting up the tree.

And now one for our unconventional followers. I remember headbanging to this one in my youth!

Looks the the boys WILL be back in town, now that Shauna's around!

Made this one for Shauna. as I think I owed her a caption. Had this one set up for about a month, but I hadn't really had the story totally nailed down until I looked at it again last night. All I had was the title, which I wanted to leave in the caption, as sort of a nod to those people that DO put a title right in their creations. I don't usually, and so, why not?

The biggest adjustment after I wrote the story was actually putting the title at the end of the story. I think it stole a bit of the thunder as the first thing someone read. At least at the end, if people saw it right away. it could flavor the plot line slightly.

This isn't one of my favorites of the last month or two, but it doesn't completely suck. The main thing is I don't think I got a complete full story told from what the picture provided. I think I might have been able to get some more juice out of it, but after a month or two sitting in my files, its about as good as its going to get.

We lucked out on yet another snowstorm. getting only a few inches of snow before it turned to rain. With the highs reaching around 35 or so, its mostly slush now and the roads are clear. I think that is bullet number three we've dodged. Hopefully we will be fine on Christmas Day as we have many miles to travel throughout the day .. over 350 I believe!

For those traditional folk out there, here's another song my mom would play while putting up the decorations around the house and ornaments on the tree. I hope YOUR Christmas isn't blue!

But if you think it will be, then perhaps this song by Fear might help you out!

Punk rock has always seemed fond of Christmas songs!

Well, most of us don't always succeed in our work .. but if we can learn from our failures, I think we can all move on nicely, don't you think?

Made the setting for this one a few weeks ago and had written a few lines of rough text so I could keep the idea for the caption contained and remember it. Specifically the last few lines at the bottom. I believe I owed Chelsea a caption, and if not, I'm sure she'd be making me another one soon so why not jump the gun?!?

Whoops, forgot to add the DIY captions!

This first one is from Caitlyn of Caitlyn Masked fame!

... and Ian snuck one in under the wire too!

Here is the next DIY challenge .. so get your thinking caps on for a nice Christmas caption!

Christmas is coming up so fast now its crazy. I have a bunch of work to do and only so many days to get it all done! Luckily I will have some time over the next few nights to relax and possibly make some more captions for everyone. I have a few Christmas captions already made for the weekend and/or the beginning of next week. Not sure if I will focus on that or just some regular ones but rest assured I want to make some more and take the edge off all this work I'm doing at my job!

For the classic song, I love this one. Its just OOZES cool. I don't really think its too date-rapey, mostly that the girl wants to stay but is giving excuses until she runs out. Back then, women couldn't really just be wanton and sexual .. they had to play demure before being "seduced".

And for the non-traditional, here's one of my favorites by the Vandals. We'll see another of their songs done by another group closer to Christmas. "I won't have to tuck it behind me ... Since I got my brand new vaginey!" isn't even the best lyric in this song!

Can't say I've ever been the teacher's pet before now!

Saw this picture as I was surfing online and had a story come to me so I had to write it out. I know I don't usually post too many captions starring me so I figured, why not do one right now?!?

My girlfriend likes the show "Face Off" where makeup artists compete for jobs on movie sets, at least that is what I hear. There is one really freaky looking judge that creeps me out and he's not even that made up .. just looks like if Christopher Lowell and Dave Navarro had a child.

So anyway, figured that if you went to school for fashion design and makeup, you'd definitely have to have a final exam to show what you learned, and what better way to impress than to make yourself look completely different? Yeah, there are probably a ton of drag queens that do that for course credit all the time, but I'm talking DAMIEN here! Not exactly the swishy type . unless there is some sort of hypnotist out there willing to spend the time to make him think he's RuPaul!

Just trying to up my creativity a bit and make something that was completely non-forced and without any magical or other sort of transformation. I think its good, but definitely not one of my Top 10 for 2013 .. which WILL be coming soon to this very blog site. Probably within the time between Christmas and New Year's. It will take two segments, and I've already got the first one almost completed for publication. Each one will have an explanation on why I really like it. Looking through them, I am happy with my output for the year, as I think that from caption to caption, the quality was very consistent, with perhaps a few clunkers thrown in there for good measure!

Since its a blog exclusive, it won't be posted anywhere else. Feel free to comment and talk about what you liked and/or didn't like about it. I think I can take the criticism without my mascara running!

For the traditional Christmas music lovers, here is another of my favorites:

And for all you Spinal Tap fans, you already know the words, right?

Silent Night .. Violent Night!

Hard to believe I hadn't posted this one before!

Well, I thought that I had posted this for sure, but I can't seem to find it, and searching for keywords like, "horse" , "mare" , "and such didn't pull it up, so I apologize if it is a repeat.

I didn't have time to make a caption tonight, but I did make something for Hailey and her Christmas Challenge, and depending on when she posts it, I will be posting it as well. Just a really cheesy little thing, and to be honest, I'm not sure that I might even have plagiarized myself if that is possible!

Its Christmas crunch time! On Friday, I have my work, then go and pick up my daughter from her first job and then bring her to her second job which she works until 11 PM. Yay, mall traffic on the weekend before Christmas! Anyone else out there trying to wrap up the business year before Christmas so you can try to catch a breather? That is definitely my occupational situation.

I don't know bout you, but this was considered traditional in my household at Christmas time!

And one of the best of the newer Christmas songs. It was written and recorded by The Vandals of "My First Christmas as a Woman" fame, and then covered by No Doubt, which did it awesome!

See you in a day or two!

Well, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before.

Yeah, yeah. Hopefully you have figured out the subtle things that made this caption what it is exactly. Pretty vague but hopefully the image give you the idea it gave me, though honestly, the "if you could enlighten me, be my guest" is really what tied everything together .That line and the petals falling made me work the Disney angle, otherwise its more of a non-sequitur caption without a plot. I used Bradley as the male name as I just couldn't use Gaston as it would be much too obvious. Have to have a little mystery in our lives, don't we?

We went to a solstice party tonight, which was sort of weird since it was almost 50 degrees out during the day on what is supposed to be the shortest day of the year. These people put out a wondrous spread, and I'd have been even more full if I could eat most of the food they produced. I've been to catered events that haven't achieved the wondrous good eats set out for consumption. It was a great event for the stomach and a great one for the soul, as the GF and I don't get out nearly enough!

For a traditional Christmas song, I give you the best thing that Yoko Ono has been involved in:

And a really good version by the singer of The Used and some other famous punk/metal musicians.

This version I also highlighted last year with the caption, "So This Is Christmas, and What Have You Done?" I find myself listening to it more than the original at this point, as perhaps its musically more my style. I think I've got a few more posts in me before Christmas so I've got more music to promote!

Formerly a Haven Quarterly exclusive! (please click on picture to enter the blog post!)

Wrote this at the end of December in 2011 and it was published in the February edition of the Haven Quarterly. Figured I would post it here since it does deal with Christmas as a topic.

I am not quite sure who wrote this question to "Letters to a Mistress" but I assume it was either Steffie of Jennifer, and they are such delightful queries that you can let your imagination go wild.

As you may have noticed, I am not quite up to writing full length fiction stories, as my ideas come out in bite sized pieces, so this is about as long-winded as I can get. I might try a real TG fiction story in 2014, but I will really have to work hard to get over 2 or 3 thousand words!

So, here we go!

Dear Mistress,
I’m not sure if you can help me. You see, there seems to be some mix up with my Christmas wish. As I slipped into my bed on Christmas Eve I looked toward the heavens and asked the powers that be to please make the coming year less lonely for me. What I wanted most was to have someone to share my life with. The following morning I awoke to find that my pajamas no longer fit. The bottoms hung loosely from my hips and the cuffs dragged on the floor. My top, on the other hand, was stretched tight. In short, I was now a girl! I’m terrified by my sudden transition. I have no idea how to act or dress. No matter what I wear, men watch me as I walk by. Some even whistle or proposition me. This New Years Eve I had ten guys who wanted to take me out and I reluctantly agreed to go with one of them but all he wanted to do was kiss and feel me up. I honestly don’t think I’m that kind of girl! There’s no way I can talk to my friends or family about this. Any advice you can offer will be greatly appreciated.

Hoping you can help,
Transformed in Tampa

I am going to let you in on a little secret, Sweetie. In some capacity, I deal with many shady minions, including that Harley Davidson enthusiast, Santa Claus. Did you really think he’s all sweet and innocent, even though he looks like a deadhead? Real badass that dude is, except on Christmas Eve .. that is his big night to spread joy and cheer to those unfortunate ones that don’t have a reason to celebrate. Most people don’t get to see him in action, since he only helps those that truly need something special. And, hey, with all the debauchery he gets into the rest of the year, it balances things out. I mean, that freak parties with midgets constantly!

Anyway, I know this because I was in a hot tub with him and the Easter Bunny on Boxing Day, and we are all trying to one up each other with tales of drunken nights, reindeer games tainted by steroid use, and such when Der Kringle busts out this story about one of the last stops this year. Apparently, Big Red (trust me!) mentions that he’s blitzed from all the egg nog he’s been drinking, when he hears this plea from some sad sack looking for someone to share his life, blah blah blah. Santa has a job to do, but he remembers that he owed Cupid a solid. What’d I tell you, that guy is crazy mad about little people! Anyway, he gets on his cell phone and sets up a deal with the angel baby to help some chick with no self esteem that really needs a boost, and Santa gets to have some jollies at your house before he dash away, dash away, dash away home!

Anyway, long story already too long (I found out I’m allergic to friggin' rabbits!) Santa Baby figured that you two should REALLY share your lives together. You think YOU had it bad? How about that former girl, waking up with a raging boner for Christmas?!?

Don’t fret though. Apparently you two are supposed to meet at some time during Valentine’s Day and fall madly in lust .. Happily ever after and all that crap. Well, as happily as you can be being led by your destined Master on a leash. Speaking of which, My Pet Store will be having a 25 percent sale on all leather items on February 14, so just mention this ad and I’m sure someone can give you a proper fitting.

Oh yeah .. you’ll be hanging another little stocking on the chimney mantle next Christmas, since your future hubby has quite fertile chestnuts!

Mistress Dementia

Thought I would post this as its quite surreal to say the least, but hopefully worth a chuckle or two!

I'll be back for something tomorrow night (aka Christmas Eve) and possibly Christmas night as well.

Oh, was that a ballet? Duh! I am relatively cultured ya know!

Made this one a few weeks ago when I was trying to make some Christmas captions. I guess I was in more of the spirit last year since they seemed easier to make. Some of our Christmas plans and travel have been cancelled due to illness in the GF's family which we only found out about a day or two ago, so I've had to try to cheer her up as best I can. She's Wiccan but is really into the whole secular nature of Christmas .. the lights, the tree, the music, giving gifts to loved ones, and especially seeing family she hasn't seen all year.

So, other than the caption I made for Hailey's Christmas Caption challenge, which I will probably post on Christmas Day, this is it. I loved the photo and wanted to incorporate some of the ideas of the music suite into the caption. Who knows if I incorporated enough into this caption to make it coherent and enjoyable to you, the wonderful readers of my blog. Please comment if you like it, or even just click on the "Loved it!" up-vote clicker.

If you are going out tonight (Christmas Eve) please be safe and keep an eye out for those who may have had too much to drink. The holidays should be a time for celebrating what we have, and not what we could lose. Maybe it should be a 2 egg-nog limit this night!

For traditional songs, here is one of my all-time favorites:

And, here's Bad Religion's entire Christmas EP:

See you Christmas Day/Night!

Yeah, its stinky cheese! Made this one for Hailey's Christmas Caption Challenge.

Hope everyone had a great holiday! I get Thursday off as well before heading back to work on Friday so tomorrow is a leisure day for me and the GF. We have to head to her work to pick up her paycheck (she's got the rest of the week off) and then will drop in on my guitarist at his retail hell to drop off a birthday gift (it's on Friday) and then pretty much anything goes. The GF likes Cracker Barrel so we might there for lunch, but I can really enjoy having a day off after all the Christmas hustle and bustle.

Even though we weren't able to see the GF's family, we are going to try to make it down there within the next few weeks so she can still see them. She made the sacrifice to move here and live with me over 14 years ago, away from friends and family to start a new life. Anything I can do to help her see those people will be worth it to me.

Our first Christmas together was really rough, as we were broke to be honest, and to make it look like we have gifts under the tree, we wrapped up boxes of pasta. For our tenth Christmas together, I actually wrapped up a box of ziti, and she started crying with tears of joy in remembrance of those rough times. We had our own place, and each other, and the dream of tracking down my daughter, who had vanished with her mother when she was 3 years old. Now, quite a few years later, and my daughter has her own boyfriend she lives with, works two jobs, and I've had the pleasure of raising her full-time since she was 6.

I may not have many material things of monetary value, but I am still truly blessed with a wonderful girlfriend, a daughter that is so much like me (which is good AND bad!) a loving family and many wonderful friends, both in real life and here on the interwebz. Believe me, I don't take any of that for granted and if you don't have what I do, I wish for you the love and affection I feel everyday!

Thank you for making this blog bigger than I ever thought it could be!

Pretty sure I hadn't posted this one before, so this is new to the blog and the last Christmas caption of the season. Sorry to disappoint those looking for more Christmas goodies!

Yes, sometime within the next day or so, most likely with this post, I'll have hit 3 million views. Since I hit 2 million back in February, it seems I am getting around 100k a month in page views, which astounds me. I was happy the first time I hit 100k in a month, and looking at stats, I'm around 105k per month now.

Since I knew I was close, and don't have much to do here at work, I went back and looked over the first few months of the blog to get an good idea of what was going on then, back in Aug-Dec 2010. Many of the discussions were quite fun to reread, and my discussion questions at that time were much more focused .. and truthfully probably much more detailed at the beginning since I didn't have a bunch of posts to fall back on. Most of the comments came from caption creators themselves, and it made for a great mix of ideas and ruminations.

Looking over the participants, you see familiar names like Jennifer, Caitlyn, Kaitlyn, and Simone .. but also people from the past that haven't posted much lately like Nadine and Martha. Then there are those that have dropped out of the TG scene like Smitty and Petra. Lastly, there were some people that I hope are doing ok, but I haven't seen anything posted to their blogs in quite a few months, like Sasha, Britney, Isobelle Nichole and Tina Moor, and Alexia. If any of you are still out there, or are still talking to them, please let me know! I hope that they are doing quite well and are busy from having a great life, but even if they aren't, I want them to know that I think about them quite often.

Also, Pretty Sissy Dani had commented a few times back when this blog was getting started, and I can't tell you how excited I was for that! She mostly posts cross-dressing pictures of herself now but I still check in now and again to see if she's posted some new "Artwork" or decided to tackle a new story. Back in the mid 1990's, I used to check her site everyday to look for new stuff!

That I still get people new to the site popping in and commenting, and then they stick around and become regulars, is always exciting to me. TG Captions are a passion for me, and I'm always glad to share what I know and my opinions with anyone that wants to hear them. The creations from 2013 show the evolution of my "Craft" and that is only possible due to the cross-pollination with others, especially those whose work I wouldn't have thought to read back in 2010, specifically those related to the "sissy" genre. I know now that I do not have to rely on strictly "magical" means of TG transformation and I think its made even those captions seem more real life.

I have also been looking back at the captions I made in 2013 for the "best of the year" posting that will be unveiled in the next few days, and I am, overall, very happy with my work. I don't think I've repeated myself very much, and made quite a few more blog exclusives where I can write up exactly what I want to write without compromising The DIY captioning has been a bit of a slog, but getting people to write up something is always a challenge, and its good to see different takes on the same picture. Lastly, I think I still have something to say and express through TG captions, so I'm not ready to "go quietly into that gentle night."

Look out, year 2014 .. Dee is looking to kick some ass and take no prisoners!

I remember being a kid and hearing this song and thinking, "wow, that a long ways away from happening! I'll be a grown up then!" LOL Now that year is 15 years in the rear view mirror!

I'm much more interesting than Ryan Seacrest!

I wanted to go through all my captions that I made in 2013, and pick out my favorite TEN captions of the year, and possibly explain WHY I liked them so much. Time often gives us a bit of perspective and maybe a few fell between the cracks and I like them more now than when I made them. Others were favorites of mine from the get go! Lets see how my favorites lined up with yours!

There is no particular order to these Top 10 since I'm just going to grab them as I go along.

I really love the simplicity of this caption. Its based on a silly bit of unlucky fate, linked only by the newly female protagonist repeating the same thing over and over again. I think that I might be reticent to speak if I was in that situation, especially with a new voice saying whatever words that I was trying to get out. To me, its a fun and jovial caption with a great mood.

I really love the writing here and its got a twist I don't think people are really expecting. Its got the right amount of humiliation from the wife, and the ending is such a happy one, don't you agree? Add that story to a wonderful picture of Sarina, and what more could you ask for?

I KNOW that this one fell between the cracks during the doldrums of late winter, but I just LOVE the little zinger at the end, where of all the things that happened, THAT is what she thinks is strange. It sort of comes out of left field when you are reading it, then doubles back on itself to question why you didn't really question what was said before too much. I guess its a "suspension of disbelief" revocation in caption format. Also, a slight peek into my unfiltered mind unburdened by trading caption preference demands.

Two reasons I love this one. The first would be that it just might be the one I worked the hardest on, with quite a bit of design effort in trying to get it just right. I don't usually construct captions in such a way where the design is an integral part of the whole caption, but this one shows that I CAN do it if I am motivated .. and that leads to the second reason. I made it for Steffie, and if anyone deserves my time and effort in doing the best I can, its Steffie. Hands down, I don't think there is anyone out there that can just overwhelm you with both a story and the packaging that surrounds it like Steffie. Its just a whole different level than anything else out there in Transgender captions or storytelling.

Can you tell I LOVE to make TG silly captions? This one JUST barely beat out another Meta-caption I made for Kyra Hyde called "... For a Havenette to br Named Later" which was made right around the same time as this one. I love captions where I can reference the very existence of TG captions and those who create them. Its all done with a knowing wink and a nod, and what makes this even better is that it contains some of my most fresh and hilarious banter between two people that I've ever made and I am usually pretty good at dialog.

This ends part one, but here are two honorable mentions of captions that involve ME more than my usual caption appearances. I could be considered the "star" of these two!

"Dementia and the Skull-Fuckers From Hell" is my favorite band name from 2013. Hopefully you will see us coming to YOUR town in 2014!

What is your favorite of the ones I've posted so far?

Just what everyone was sort of expecting right? .. and a Happy New Year to you!

I wanted to go through all my captions that I made in 2013, and pick out my favorite TEN captions of the year, and possibly explain WHY I liked them so much. Time often gives us a bit of perspective and maybe a few fell between the cracks and I like them more now than when I made them. Others were favorites of mine from the get go! There are no captions from December as its too early for me to say if they were some of the best of the year. Lets see how my favorites lined up with yours!

There is no particular order to these Top 10 since I'm just going to grab them as I go along.

I like this one due to its premise. Mixing a home improvement show with a relationship based show like something that would be on Oxygen channel seemed like a no-brainer to me once I saw this picture. The title just flew right at me and I thought the follow through was good too. The gradient looking like a piece of plywood helps take it up a notch.

I like this one because it taps into the innocence of childhood and the wishes we'd make back before societal pressure turned us into the adults we became. It also ties in the magical nature of Disney, and all the fantasies it gives to children. Of course, this is the REAL world, but I wonder how many times a wish was made in the fountain like Jay envisioned. A wish is a dream your heart makes!

This one COULD be a very realistic caption, depending on how open-minded you and your spouse are with your children. Sometimes I wonder if we pass along our kinks and fetishes to our offspring, as my dad was always into women wearing hosiery, and I seem to have followed his example. My daughter likes wearing them as they make her legs look better as according to her. I also don't think there is enough Role Play in captions. I mean, there is a ton of that at the Haven between players, but never much inside a relationship within the confines of a TG caption. I've done a few and will probably continue to do so since I don't think its a trope that has been drained dry yet.

This is just pure fun and a bit of a twist at the end. Procedural stuff intrigues me, and the process of how to make a guy into a girl has been done many times before. I just like the juxtaposition of them doing it to someone who WANTS it to happen, and the rim shot it implies after 90 percent of the text is talking about an involuntary change. Its also a wonderful photo to place into a caption setting.

This one was made for Annabelle and the main reason I like it is that I think its a really "Annabelle" caption if you catch my drift, in the way the plot is constructed, the photo, and subject matter with a father and son being "rearranged" so to speak. When I go out of my comfort zone, I enjoy the whole process of trying to create something different, and when it turns out well, its even better!

This was a really hard process to try to boil it down to only 10. I bet if I looked at these another day, I might have 6 or 7 that I like more than what I chose, but I'll stand by it. Here's a few more that I really liked, for reasons that make sense to me!

This one is pure unadulterated Dee, with lots of word play. If I am known for anything, its witty and/or realistic dialog, and the way I like to play with words. The plant references started the moment I saw this picture and i threw them in wholeheartedly.

I can really connect with this one, as its how I imagine my mom would be if I had wanted to be a woman, or had turned into one when I was younger. I can hear her speaking the words I put in the mom's mouth. I also don't think there are enough sweet TG captions out there that show understanding and the real emotions that go along with the physical transformations. My mother was always a woman, whether she was in her heels and little black dress, or putting up sheet rock for the house addition in jeans and sneakers. Gender is so much more than just what you are wearing and what private parts are between your legs.

Lastly, another caption that deals with pop culture and brings me back to my youth. Calvin had a transmogrifier and the girl looks like should could be a teenage version of Calvin. The story was a love letter to one of my favorite comic strips of all time (Bloom County is the other) and for me, the fact that it worked so well made me smile from ear to ear. Thinking about Calvin having to deal with being a girl just really gives me a tingle in the cockles of my heart.

Here are the top 3 captions for the year as based on your page views:

A Cock in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush

Abducted and Forced? To Wear Pantyhose?

and NUMBER ONE: The Fashionable (Fe)Male on Display

Hope you enjoyed this year-end round-up of some of my favorite captions of 2013. I hope you'll stick around with me for at least another year. Lets make 2014 even better! Happy New Year everyone!

First post of 2014, but not the first one I've made in 2014!

Wanted to start off the year with a bang, and while I ended up making a few captions that will be blog exclusives, none of them had that IT FACTOR that this one does, at least in my mind.

The idea is something that I fleshed out of a comment I made to Leanne's page where I made some flippant remark about a picture she posted here and then followed up with what I thought was a throwaway line. Here it is in total:

You'd think most people would be afraid of flying sentient panties!

Hope you found some alpha males to shovel out your driveway while you lounge around in a maid's outfit? You should be ready to make sure he doesn't get frostbite on his big cock! At that size, it should be considered an extremity!

That came about mostly because I'd spent the last 2 hours trying to dig out various cars from the 12 inches of snow we got over Thursday night. (For those out there interested, I was also wearing a "Tactical Heat Retention Garment" underneath my jeans, aka "women's tights" my roommate gave me as I couldn't find my Under Armour ... figured you'd get a kick out of that though it wasn't like I was wearing fishnet thigh-highs or anything! It was fun anyway though as I shook my butt at her and my girlfriend as they both laughed.) About an hour or two later, my mind came back to the comment though andI figured there was enough there for a caption for Leeanne.

Hence, a caption that spells our all the various benefits of being a cuckolded sissy. You can certainly learn a lot if you have an open mind. For instance, why spend 30 bucks on Under Armour Thermals ..

When you can buy Merona Ladie's Tights from Target for 8 bucks!

I should be around here and there over the weekend. Wild Card Football week is calling me though, with the lure of really cold weather games in Philly and Green Bay. Leave me a message about what you thought of the caption and what you'd like to see next!

I am waiting for this one to make the rotation on the Game Show Network!

Finished watching the NFL Wild Card games on TV and popped online to see what was going on and figured, "why not try to make a caption?" It'd be nice to get ahead of the blog a bit so I wasn't scrambling for something to post. I am writing this up on Saturday night though I won't be posting until after the last game between the 49ers and Packers. Perhaps I'll have written a few more since I whipped up this post and then it'll be considered a very productive weekend!

I just glanced through my d'archives while not trying to force anything, but if an idea spring forth, I had Photoshop ready and waiting. I've had this picture saved for a month or two now, and had it pegged for Dylan/Dalene, one of the Havenettes that has been around as long as I have and is still producing captions, though its slowed a bit since his wife and he have adopted a little boy. Anyway, I love making captions for her so I try not to go too long without capping her.

It sparked a quick little question in me, namely, "who is smarter, the bimbo or the stuffed animals?" and right there I had my hook. The setting looked good enough to be a stage of a game show, and that is exactly how I wrote it up. I didn't want Dalene to be at too much of a disadvantage though against ALL THOSE STUFFIES, so I figured I would give her a partner .. and a toaster is a perfectly good appliance that does exactly what it was built to do, which is make toast! Bimbos also know exactly what they were built to do as well, so it was a perfect fit!

And Miley thought she was cool with dancing stuffed animals. Marilyn Manson was doing it when she was in preschool!

Kate's got Damien All Figured Out .. Right?

Can't Seem to Pass that Cultural Anthropology Class, huh Tom?

Once in a Blue Moon ..

A Public Service Announcement .. Dee Style!

A mASSive Turn-on! DIY Results Too!

Caught! .. Underneath the Dressing Table!

Why Am I Asking So Many Questions?

Tonight There's Gonna Be a Jailbreak!

Its All A Matter of Trust .. and DIY Results

Face Off .. The Next Chapter!

Horsing Around .. the Caption!

Beauty Is Found Within .. You ... Beast!

Ask a Mistress .. Christmas Edition!

Christmas Eve .. and the Nutcracker!

Merry Christmas .. Enjoy the Cheese!

3 Million Views!! .. and Other Assorted Thoughts!

Dee's Top 10 (or so) Favorite Captions of 2013! Part One!

Dee's Top 10 (or so) Favorite Captions of 2013! Part Two!

Out shoveling for Leeanne!

Don't Bet on the Toaster!