Dee-lusions of Grandeur

Oh Boy! Christmas leftovers!

Well, today is the 12th day of Christmas, aka Epiphany, which I believe is when supposed Wise Men came to visit a baby and thought frankincense and myrrh was an appropriate gift! Perhaps they'd have been better if the wise women would've went along for the ride, as not only they'd have give better gifts, they wouldn't have wandered around the desert for 12 days either!

Well, since we are wrapping up Christmas in a nice little bow, here is the one entry we had for our DIY promotion dealing with Christmas .. submitted by Ian.

Well, here is a new DIY for people to work on. I hope that perhaps one of your New Year's Resolutions was to start taking part in these interactive events I am running!

Hope this gets your creative juices flowing!

PS. Thank you so much for visiting last night and today. I actually hit over 8k views in one day for the first time EVER! Not sure why but it certainly made my day when I got home from work!

Did you watch the balls drop when it hits midnight?

I got into the New Year's spirit with this one, writing it up for a Haven newbie, Shivativa. I guess it fits in with the whole standard, "New Years Resolutions" and was sort of an antithesis to Sara's discussion on her blog about her wife cuckolding him on NYE. I think that if you have a romantic loved one, New Year's Eve is one of those times you should be together .. and it really sucks if you don't have a date on that night either! Back in the 90's, I had one or two NYE's where I was relatively single, so that meant getting shit faced at a club and mashing faces with another drunken hot mess of a female also trying to quench their loneliness, that THIS might be the BEST YEAR EVER!

I honestly have no idea what happened to him. Magical wish made in a fountain? Cursed alcohol? Vengeful ex-girlfriend?? The college bar was built on an old Indian burial ground? I didn't care as it wasn't part of the story for me.

This had to be one of those "in the moment" captions so all that needed to be discussed was the thoughts going through his head. Even though New Year's Eve can be a pensive one to reflect on things that have happened in the past and a rumination on what future goals lay ahead .. the one track mind is scoring big time sexually and that is what (s)he is focused on.

So overall, a basic caption. One of those punch clock, average ordinary type of caption that does what it is supposed to do, and nothing more or less than that.

Ah, its Kiss, at its cheesiest 80's best .. or worst .. depending on how you view it. I think, "Let's Put the X in Sex" is probably their worst of the 80's, or perhaps "(You Make Me) Rock Hard" might be the one that tips the scales! LOL

Well, there is always ONE sure fire way to solve the argument!

Here's a quickie I whipped up the other day while I had some free time. Basically I was surfing the web looking for photos to inspire me, and I came upon this one. Blond bimbo looking girl with big tits looking at shoes .. hmm, I THINK I could work with this one, don't you think?

Basically, my mind went to an episode of The Brady Bunch which dealt with Marcia and Greg fighting over the attic, which was being turned into a spare bedroom. Brothers and sisters fight all the time anyway, so them fighting over a closet seems like as good a reason as any for a source of conflict within the caption. In a way, this is almost a Goosebumps story line!

This shows exactly the issues I have in my life where I end up going off someplace I originally wasn't going to go. After I typed that Goosebumps sentence, I thought of ERMAHGERD! and how funny it'd be to have a TG caption based off of one. I don't THINK anyone has done one yet, though if anyone did, I'd predict that Kaitlyn would've made one. I guess I'll just have to see if I was the first!

Now, I'm back and can finish my original thoughts. Um, yeah. I think I probably have said what I needed to say about the original caption I was posting.

Yes, I actually own "The Best of the Brady Bunch" on CD. Then again, I also own the entire soundtrack to "Plan 9 from Outer Space" on CD as well in case I want to listen in the car!

.. and I don't mean French Tips!

This is one of the best weeks for football (along with last week) where only the best teams in the NFL play, so if you get to see a blowout, its pretty amazing. There are only a few elite teams, but almost any in the playoffs should be able to be another team. Patriots won again, and won convincingly against the Colts and will once again head to the AFC Championship game for the 3rd year in a row .. and the 8th time in 13 years for Brady and Belichick. That is just a consistency you don't see in a league that is made for parity. Hate all you want, but Brady and Belichick are the best at what they do and the Hall of Fame awaits them both.

Made this caption a week or two ago, knowing that I can always use some blog exclusives to post. Its sort of a counterpoint to the last caption where the siblings were fighting tooth and nail. In this, we have the exact opposite, where the dear sister is trying her best to help out her brother in need. The story came to mind due to my being in a pick-em league with some friends. In the final week of the season, it was a 3 way time for first place and I needed to not only out-pick everyone else, I needed the other players to mess up. I certainly didn't want to have to go into the wild-card week to determine a champion (and 3 of the home teams LOST in the first round though I went 3-1 anyway!) Long story long is I ended up picking 15 of 16 games correctly and no one else did better than 11 out of 16 so I won the league by three picks. WOOOOOOOO! Not like I ended up with a whole lot of money, but it certainly is bragging rights!

Hope everyone had a good weekend! I should be back on Tuesday with another post. Going out to eat with am old friend tomorrow and watching the new season premiere of Archer at 10 PM so I won't be around much on Monday night! Keep warm! (or cool depending where you are!)

Spread 'em baby!

Wasn't planning on making a caption of my own for the DIY challenge, but as I was placing the submissions inside the setting, I did come up with an idea, so I went with it though I am not quite sure its a fully formed idea. I enjoy writing bimbo-speak though so its got that going for it!

Looking back, I wish I had set the photo in a different colored background. I am not fond of the contrast between those colors and the ones I am using for the writing, which meant that I had to play around with italics and boldness along with text size to get the "look" right and I'm still not excited about the way it was completed. Live and learn!

The first submission was from Caitlyn, which she based on one of my old captions, where one of the protagonists only says a word or two throughout the caption. Its also nice to get to star in another persons caption, even when I'm on the receiving end of the transformation!

The next one was created by Helena, who went with a bit of an envious person making a wish that backfired big time! Hopefully this dry run will give her a bit of a momentum push to start making her own captions again!

Ian created the last one, and I never would've though to use a time and reality rift with this picture, but I think it came out pretty well, and I chuckled at the dialog too!

I think this might've been the most successful DIY Project to date here on this blog, and I only had to whine a moan a tad to get people to submit something! LOL

Maybe this might get your creative juices flowing again? Lets hope so! I'd like to think some fans of sissy captions could get on board this DIY Project too!

.. and I won't rent her out for house parties either!

I made this caption for Wendy on the Haven, as I owed her at least one, and I knew she wouldn't mind waiting over the holidays for me to get a bit less busy. I saw the photo and it just screamed WENDY!! at me so I had to put it in a setting. I fleshed out the story, along with the twist in the ending pretty easily, saved it, then posted to her folder.

As I was doing that, I reread it and I felt like I wasn't quite sure I got the point across that my character was going to use his formula when he was all done on himself .. which is how he was going to escape from the mob influence (though he had completed his quota, there is often that whole, "I try to get out and they keep pulling me back in!" Godfather III dilemma that he wished to avoid.) Wendy doesn't like having men in her captions and would prefer to be a lesbian. Its one of the reasons I came up with the whole idea in the first place, and I here I was posting something I left vague that I didn't WANT left vague. Could you tell that was Damien's destiny before I mentioned it here? Let me know in the comments either way.

So what sorts of things do I have ready for you on tap? Well, a few more blog exclusives (I guess I need to hit the Trading Area of the Haven again soon!) including one made for Hailey Pixley's Caption Challenge, High School Football pranks, one based in a greenhouse, and something I whipped up from a country song. Keep swinging by to see what is going to be posted next time!

The team needs a Hail Mary now! Looks like backfields are in motion!

Made this one the other day while I was in the spirit of the Patriots making it to another AFC Championship game, though this time its in Denver, instead of Foxboro, MA. It flavored the DIY post I made which co-starred Caitlyn, and football was still in my mind when I saw this picture posted somewhere on the internet.

Like many captions I make, it was influenced by the Brady Bunch television show. The one I was thinking of is when Greg steals the mascot of the rival high school, which is a goat. I guess they took it literally to "Get their Goat!" Anyway, the idea of playing practical jokes on the other team has a long tradition, although they tend to frown upon it now, as its not really considered youthful exuberance, but either vandalism or petty larceny and trespassing.

I just took that idea to its logical TG conclusion, and passed the savings on to you, my loyal, faithful blog followers. Hopefully it gets a slight giggle from you, and also reminds you that this is the LAST Sunday for awhile you'll get two professional football games to watch! Oh God! That means that winter is TRULY here and its bleak on Sunday afternoons until next Autumn. What am I possibly going to do on Sundays after this week? I'll take people's suggestions in the comment section!

Sometimes you have to take advantage of the situation presented to you!

Any other bloggers out there noticing a big increase in the amount of spam comments? Blogger does block them out very nicely, but popping on to find you have 31 spam messages in that folder over a 60 hour period does seem excessive, especially since I cleaned it out on Friday morning. Oh Well!

Made this one for Hailey's Caption Challenge #13 where she supplied the picture and you made a caption around it. If something grabs me with the picture, I'll usually whip something up and this photo did a good job of evoking a sort of "Working Girl" theme where she was swapping shoes to go from work to something else. Those boots implied something sexier than a basic job, so my imagination took over. Hailey and the readers tend to be a more realistic sort of captioner so I went with more of a cross-dressing theme. Black shoes, Black boots .. Blackmail! There is the underlying theme of the caption!

The fun part is that its already been accepted somehow that Damien is dressing like that at work and it doesn't seem to be a big deal to Damien's co-worker or friend. The first line is there to hopefully make you think the caption is going a certain way, and then wanders off to something totally different, something that will keep people interested in the rest of the story.

We never do find out how Damien ended up in the situation to begin with, and its exactly what I wanted to convey. Is Damien actually transgendered in the caption, blackmailed into this position at his job, demoted and made ot wear secretarial clothing a la Belladonna's stories, or something else I haven't thought of yet? I don't think it really matters, because its in the past, and Damien and his chat mate don't need to rehash the situation, just the latest development.

Just a reminder that we still have a DIY challenge happening HERE and the deadline is probably Wednesday for that. I picked a photo that was a bit more challenging than usual, so I hope you'll all take a shot at writing something for it.

Well, your wife's boss, who used to .. well, read the fucking caption!

Got to work from home today due to the snowstorm, and I ended up getting a fuckton done, along with shoveling my car out, along with the GF's car so she could head to work (her boss is a shit heel!) Nothing like a light, fluffy snow that makes you feel like a real man for clearing it out, but not heavy enough to throw out your back. I'll take snowstorms like these every time!

I wanted to make some new captions, and try to work on some trades as well, since we've had an influx of new traders at the Haven. I ended up making a pregnancy one that I'll post at some point, one based off a shitty movie that was riffed by MST3k, and this one, which was influenced by one of Leeanne's latest posts about her true life experiences being a cuckolded sissy with her cheerleader.

Well, I was thinking about that when I came across this picture, and figured it would make a good story, fleshed out a few embarrassing details to his dilemma, and amped up the humiliation a bit too. All in good fun and I kept the names out of it so people can put themselves in the situation if they would like to, although I guess that being a lawyer helps! Then again, I must have what, hundreds of sissy lawyers reading my blog everyday!

Everyone stay warm and toasty these next few weeks as we deal with the polar vortex, even if we have to wear flannel lingerie to do so!

I had way too much time on my hands as a youngster, and I think it shows, don't you?

Figured I'd post a few captions here for the weekend that I made that probably aren't "headliners" on their own and are tied together thematically by my love of pop culture in its many forms. And by "pop culture" I mean cheesy, overlooked guilty pleasures or things that make me smile to myself.

Its all things that come with a wink and a nod for those that understand them.

Its being able to quote most of the dialog from "Fletch" with your friends or bringing up the Star Wars Holiday Special as the best performance by Bea Arthur.

Celebrating the Marshmallow Fluff entertainment that was supposed to be ephemeral but ended up making a huge impact on your personality.

Its "Match Game '78" . "Reading Rainbow" , and the first few Kevin Smith movies.

SO anyway, I am a big pop culture junkie. I actually got excited when someone gifted me a "Lenny and the Squigtones" live album since it contains the first appearance of, "Nigel Tufnel" who of course is the guitar playing, alter ego of Christopher Guest, most famously played in Spinal Tap.

So for the first caption, I was inspired by the lyrics to a song by The Dixie Chicks called, "Goodbye Earl" which is a delightful tale of an abusive man who gets his comeuppance by his wife and her best friend. Such a wonderful idea for a song and its so catchy that its infectious. I pictured that perhaps they didn't have the heart to "kill" the guy, but just rearrange him a bit so he wouldn't be such a dick, and perhaps understand why needed to be changed. Speaking of, I don't believe I changed a word of the lyrics, although I didn't include them all.

Now for the second, I called upon a horrible movie made in the 1990's called, "Final Sacrifice" about some devil worshiping cult out in Western Canada and how they are trying to kill this young boy seven years after they killed his father. Several of the characters have to be seen to be believed, and for a low budget film (reportedly shot for 1500 dollars Canadian!) it actually looks more like a real film that something like Birdemic ever could. It was shown on MST3k and riffed mercilessly and that is how the movie became famous. See below where I will embed the entire MST3K version for your viewing entertainment!

I made this mostly because she is dressed like the bad guy in the film, and even has the same styled chin. I know she's from the Galaxy Quest movie, so she's somewhat famous, but not enough that most people would say, "OMIGOD, that's Missi Pyle!" which is something that *I* would most likely say!

I guess it goes without saying that I HAVE to post a picture of Zap Rowsdower, who is technically one of the heroes of the film, helping Troy escape the clutches of the cult he used to belong to. I guess if you need to name your hero something, Zap Rowsdower just rolls off the tongue, right?

Finally, a repeat I believe from a few years ago, based off of Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster" starring Bela Legosi .. and also riffed by MST3K .. along with being a featured story line in the Tim Burton movie, "Ed Wood". The caption pretty much follows the story, and includes a famous line at the end, where people try to make it sound like Bela said, "He's as gentle as a kitchen!" because of his accent and Ed Wood didn't bother to do a retake as he loved his energy.

Here's the video from the Dixie Chicks, and a good cover by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes!

Here's the entire episode of MST3k doing, "Final Sacrifice" !!! and below, "Bride of the Monster" !!!

How's that? 3+ hours of fun to kill your chilly weekend and fill the void of professional football!

Its the weekend .. lets have some fun!

Just a quick post before I head out, though I will probably set it to post later on tonight. Made this one for a newbie on the Haven, Andinonymous, who likes being a BBW and pregnant. I am not sure if the models actually are pregnant or just quite fluffy, but the picture was oddly appealing somehow, and Maddie seemed to enjoy it.

Once again, I really didn't care about how they were changed. I had Maddie interrupt Sarah before she spilled the beans as to the prior situation. Perhaps its because Maddie is so happy that she doesn't want to think about her life beforehand, and Sarah isn't as fond because of the current situation. It does make you wonder if they both wanted it and Sarah is now having regrets, or if it was forced upon them and Maddie is truly enjoying it now. I guess it does beg the question as to whether Stan and Dave were part of the transformation or just a beneficiary of whatever happened to the ladies.

Please check out last night's post as well. There is MUCH to read and view in there!

So, what do you think was their back story? Flesh it out as best you can in the comment section!

Is it the mind .. or the body that controls you?

Made this one for Rebecca because I couldn't really think of anyone that liked body swaps, and that is what I had in mind from when I first saw the photo. Not sure why, since I tend not to like reading them that much .. it it just where it lead me and I didn't want to force another scenario onto it.

Mainly, I wanted to have her emotions ping ponging back and forth, as he was sorting through how he felt, and how "she" felt, even though he was both at that time. At what point do you go with what feels right, and stop over analyzing everything that is happening. Do you rationalize it as "Something Rhonda would do" or even act in her best interests, especially if you think its only temporary?

That is why I really like this caption, even though it seems simple enough. There are a few layers available to those who wish to dig deeper, and a good looking leggy model if you just want to go along and daydream about the caption starring you.

Here is the title song from the new album from Against Me! called, "Transgender Dysphoria Blues"

Laura Jane Grace came out as being in transition about 2 years ago, and was the 2nd "major" modern musician to come out as transgender (Mina Caputo of Life of Agony was the 1st) and its nice to see that most fans of her band have been supportive (if fact, I think they got more grief for signing with a major label studio a few years ago than this current TG situation!) Hope you enjoy it, an if you do, drop a dime or two on this CD to support a cool band with a cool lead singer/ main songwriter!

And another one called, "True Trans Soul Rebel". Just to let everyone know, not all songs are about her transitioning.

So is it just the ravioli that is OVERSTUFFED? Or maybe the bra too?

This is a quick little post I just whipped up. Sorry I haven't been around but the GF's mom had to go in for surgery on Wednesday, and we've been flying around trying to make arrangements to get there (about 3 hour drive) and juggle work demands among other things.

Because of this, I am going to make this post very short and hope to follow up sometime this weekend when I can catch a breather. BTW, this month is shaping up to be the most viewed ever for this blog since its inception. It makes me very happy to know that I am essential stop for many people interested in TG captions. If you are new around here, WELCOME! Hope to hear from you soon!

Perhaps she'll go after the lawyers next!

Made this one for Leda over at the Haven and she would love to look like Sarina Valentina .. and if you were going to look like a she-male web model, who WOULDN'T want to look like Sarina? So I went wandering around the web looking for her pictures and that was certainly an interesting photo hunt through all sorts of corners of the internet! Unlike many of the other she-males out there, she has a much smaller package than most, and I wanted to work that into the humiliation that Tony's ex-wife was going to dish out.

All I really needed to do was wrap a plot around that humiliation and I thought it'd be good if I could find some motivation for her, above and beyond the standard evil ex-wife that does it just because she can. Otherwise, its so cliche and merely a rote, by the numbers feminization story. I don't mind reading them, and appreciate the Auntie series immensely, but it doesn't mean I should be WRITING captions like that. Perhaps this is exactly like that, but in my mind, I am giving it an extra layer that can often be missing in these sorts of captions.

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Here are the results for the DIY caption challenge from 2 weeks ago.

The first one is from Ian, and I wonder if culturally we live on different sides of the world. I can't remember talking to a guy in the men's room, even friends. Socialization is really kept to a minimum here in the US. Women tend to be the chatty types, and quite a few ladies rooms have couches and chairs in them. I am also sure I've made at least one caption where I make fun of women going to the loo in groups so they can plot some dastardly deed against men. On that note, its still a pretty effective storyline for the supplied picture!

Helena decided to use the photo as sort of a stinger to the end of the story. I would imagine that walking into a certain sexed bathroom is a very ingrained thing to do as its been the place you go since you stopped wearing diapers! I'd guess you'd need quite a few hypnotic sessions to really rid yourself of that habit which was so entrenched.

We will have a new DIY challenge most likely on Wednesday I think. Guess it really depends on when I actually CREATE the caption setting with a picture of my choice! Any ideas on what you'd all like to see as a photo source for the challenge?

O-M-G! I was totally gonna say that!

Was killing some time online before the Superb Owl starts at 6:30 PM (I hate the pre-game shows) and I was thinking back to one of Simone's pet peeves, which does bother me too, which is the black text on a white background caption. She made one for me about 2 months ago, and its well designed and funny, but she still felt weird creating a caption with so much negative space in it.

Over the years, captions have evolved like never before. Even beginners SHOULD be able to whip up something pretty good looking if they spend a few hours watching tutorials on graphics programs on YOUTUBE. Hell, Simone makes stylish captions and she still tries to learn all she can about the tools she uses to create, which is why she's so prominently well known for her TG Captions.

So anyway, I thought it'd be fun to play around with some of the things that Simone and I find annoying when it comes to TG Captions .. some design elements and some cliched bugaboos that will often get me to stop reading something right then and there. And Yes! I have committed some of them in the past as well so I'm not trying to be too high and mighty, but more humorous and playfully informative as to things you probably should avoid when making your own captions.

Of course, I still had to present it in a readable, legible format so I didn't do a few of the things that peeve me, like having text run off the caption so you have no idea how it ends, or consistency of names through out the text body (that is more of an issue in TG stories) and the misspelling or inversion of letters in common words ("hte machine wsa making hmi honry .. verry honry!")

I'll admit, this was not an easy caption to make. I fought long and hard with myself just to use a second color in dialog. Sometimes it does happen to me where I can't tell WHO is talking until I reread it a few times, and while I know it probably wouldn't have been too bad if I left it like that, I did try to use different shades of pink to show a lack of consistency. Some other design elements I also compromised on so that it wouldn't be a complete clusterfuck, things like warping and stretching the picture so the perspective is out of whack or making the picture blurry.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this admittedly meta-caption. I mean, its a caption "made" in real time by the girlfriend of a captioner who is being changed by the caption that the viewer is viewing. I can probably count on one hand how many TG Captions I've seen like that!

Congrats to the Seahawks on a wonderful Superb Owl win! They punished Peyton Manning even more that I wanted them to! A great game that never really was ever in doubt. The commercials were pretty spot on tonight too. Can't remember too many clunkers. I hope everyone enjoyed this unofficial national holiday! Wonder how many people are calling out sick tomorrow in Seattle??!?

After all the slushy snow we've gotten to day, I can definitely use a massage like this!

We have been pretty lucky with all the snow storms we have received this year. The worst one was followed by a few unseasonably warm days to completely melt it, and the last few were 4-8 inches of snow, but very light and fluffy. Once again, we dodged the major amounts of snow, but this time we are dealing with much sleet and probably ice tonight. I am working from home today and made the mistake of going out to clear everything in the driveway and walkways for myself and the GF since no one else in the building seems to be going anywhere! Now my arms are all tingly and I have to type a bunch of documents .. uggh! It'd be so much easier if I could just convert a few of my followers into sexy secretaries and dictate my emails, etc ... I'm sure I'd get lots of volunteers!

Made this caption for Jezebel the other day, and was hoping she'd like it, since there is some implied "bondage" in so much as there is a collar involved, although I wasn't implying anything other than her submission to me. I even had Simone proof it to make sure it passed the sniff test, and luckily it did, and Jinny did like it! That is always a plus when the recipient appreciates and enjoys the work you've done for them!

The caption was pretty much written up on the fly when I was surfing for source photos to use in a caption. The chair implied a spa of some sort (I believe its a pedicure chair) and from there, I ended up speaking the phrasing that was used to justify the whole thing, "getting all the kinks out," which of course means two completely different things depending on whether you are visiting a masseuse or a dominatrix! I figured I'd split the difference here and use both meanings. Perhaps its a little one note, but Three's Company built entire episodes on lesser misunderstandings so I stand by my work! Since I didn't want to give away the punch line, the title worked out pretty well too, since "massaging the truth" is sort of like, "massaging the books," but is actually used literally here in the plot line.

KISS MY GRITS!

Made this captions for Leda, who loves to be a hooter's girl, but you have to start somewhere, right? I always love working in the SRU wizard whenever I can, and its amazing to me that Spells R Us is almost 18 years old! The original story was written in June of 1996 and is most likely the largest TG (and TF) universe still around. I believe someone made a SRU story for fictionmania about 10 days ago so its definitely still active though I don't think Bill Hart has written anything in a long time.

For this week's DIY Challenge, I am posting a caption setting I made in May or last year and promptly forgot about! Occasionally I would see it and think, "perhaps I'll work on that now," and then not do anything with it for another month or two before finding it again. This time, I decided to let everyone try to play with it and see what they could come up with. I'm hoping to see some good submissions and plenty of them too as I think its got a whole bunch of plots running through it.

I invite everyone to submit something for this one. If you don't wish to post it to the comments section, please send it to me on Rachel's Haven. And if you aren't a member of the Haven yet, here is a good time to start! Its free to join and there are thousands of captions available to view, lots of stories and many Role Play games, both moderated in the forums and people looking to RP in Instant Messages or through email. I look forward to seeing everyone there!

Sometimes raising money is sooo easy to do!

Made this one for transmute, who likes clown girls and women dressed up in costumes, hosiery, and being embarrassed. I am hoping that this caption does the trick nicely!

I went with an old school approach to this one, digging up a font I've only used sparingly over the last few years, so I think this has a mid-development period of my work sort of feel. Other than a border, its pretty much just text on the pictures white background, which I was able to fill as much as I could.

Right from the start, I knew I was going to have the words sung on the left side, and a conversation between the two cheerleader friends on the other. Since it was all dialog, or a song for him, I knew I couldn't get TOO detailed in the back story, but I am pretty sure that everyone can read between the lines and figure out what is going on fairly well. Their really isn't any sub-text or hidden meanings, and if you do find some, it probably wasn't intentional!

Spent most of this weekend converting my daughter's old bedroom into more of a guest room/gaming area. She's been moved out for a bit, but she definitely still wants a place to crash if need be, so we kept her bed and an old mirror/dresser my mom used when SHE was a kid, but out went a desk, and some storage bins. I found a 24 inch HD TV open box special at Best Buy for under 100 bucks, so that went in there with the Xbox 360. Now I'm working on getting an up-converter for my older systems like the PS1, Sega Saturn and Dreamcast so the GF will want to game again if she so desires. She's not a fan of the newer stuff, but likes the old fashioned puzzle games for those old systems we played on back when we first met. She can also pop in there and watch TV if I am watching a football or hockey games she's not as interested in. Win/win situation for me as long as the daughter doesn't come back to live here! LOL Why don't more empty nesters tell you about the benefits of kids leaving, like having extra space and plenty of naked time!

Teenage boys never really pay attention, do they?

Made this one for Dolly (aka SissifyMe) who has a caption blog HERE that really hasn't been updated lately, which is a shame. I really do love the idea of taking a straight male and making him over in the extreme a la a drag queen so that no one could question his gender, and its even better if there is an underlying compulsion factor where the guy acts in a flouncy, flaming manner. If you've ever seen a drag cabaret act, you know exactly what I mean! Anyway, Geoff has no issues being portrayed that way, so if you are looking for someone to make a caption like that for, Dolly is definitely a willing recipient!

I didn't go quite that overboard, but when I saw the picture, I knew there was a story in it somewhere, and that was mostly how cluelessly awkward and socially inept most teenagers are nowadays, probably due to the endless texting they do, and the structured playtime that the recent parenting guidelines have pushed forth. I don't think most teenagers could read facial expressions correctly and how to tell if a voice is being condescending or sincere. I think my daughter has been able to interview so well on jobs because she does understand how real social interaction works, and she's really good at small talk.

So anyway, we have the storyline that Geoff thinks he's going to have it made, living with his Auntie who runs a girls school instead of his strict Father. Omigod! The only boy around hundreds of young, nubile females in schoolgirl outfits .. how could he ever cope with that?!? I guess it was up to Auntie to tell him how it was really going to be, that if his dad couldn't make him a man, then she was going to make him the best woman he could be!

For me, that was the hook I needed to make it a much different story than what you'd usually read in these types of scenarios. Most of the time, its, "I can't wait to see your father's reaction when he sees what his masculine pride and joy has become .. a sissy, limp-wristed princess!" What if the dad was resigned to the fact that his son couldn't possibly live up to his legacy and this was the best solution in his mind? Human reasoning can make anything seem like a best case scenario.

Then again, perhaps the adults WERE reading exactly into it what Geoff wouldn't have concluded until much later in life? Maybe all the signs were there and they were looking out in his best interest .. saving him 10-15 years of trying to figure out why he was acting the way he did.

OR maybe Geoff just has an insane Auntie that knew what to do to control him and his father, making him into a very femme boy/girl.

Wow! Perhaps I am pulling WAY too much out of such a decent and wish-fulfilling caption for many of my readers .. who would LOVE to be squirming in that beauty salon chair awaiting the final comb though, when the chair is finally spun around to face the mirror .. and your new life with Auntie!

If you think you're a man .. you're Divine!

Look! Its Dee! Nah, that can't be me, right? LOL

Kinda hard when everything is encased in 2 inches of ice .. but the sentiment is there!

Made this one for Wendy, who is kind of a crunchy granola nature lover, and I thought this would go well with that. Pretty much what she said "before" the change is exactly how I feel about flowers given for any occasion, especially Valentine's Day, which is coming up this Friday. Why give them something that is going to die in a week, no matter how well you take care of them, If you bought someone a hamster and it died a week later, you'd be pretty pissed, right? SO, you see something beautiful, and your thought is to chop it down and hand it to someone to let them know you are thinking about them? Give them a live plant of donate money to keep the rain forests moist or something much more responsible than handing them a plant carcass!

I also wondered, what is the difference between a weed and whatever is supposed to be there? I mean, they both grew in the ground and took nourishment .. who are we to decide which one is useful and which one is a parasite? I mean, if we just choose a wife based on looks, people would be all, "Damn, you are SOOO shallow!" but when it comes to gardens, its the flashy supermodel plants that are on display .. primped and sprayed and trimmed into perfection! Give me the plants with character and determination to succeed and use their innate abilities to thrive in hostile environments!

And speaking of no shrinking violets ... if you have a daughter, try not to be on her boyfriend's side in an argument! The best thing you can say is, "well, each of you has some compelling ideas, and perhaps you should work it out between you." which is what I think I will say next time I am asked for my opinion .. which I should've recognized right away as, "tell me I am right, Daddy!" but in a moment of weakness I told the truth. I might as well told her that her thighs looked big in those jeans!

I need to make some new captions again! The blog has caught up to my production!

On the 12th Day of Christmas ... and DIY!

Should Auld Appearances Be Forgot .. Blah Blah No Wang Syne

ERMAHGERD! Who Deserves the Bigger Closet?

Working for Tips!

Betting Against the Spread .. DIY Captions!

Wendy Is NOT for Sale!

A Football Prank Gone Too Far!

Working 9 to 5 .. and 6 to midnight!

Guess Who's Coming Home for Dinner .. the Boss!

Pop Culture Madness .. Inside the Mind of Dee .. Goodbye Earl & More!

Happiness is a Bun in the Oven!

That's So Sweet!

Mmmm Beefy! Nice Cans!

At Least She Let You Keep Your Junk! .. and DIY results!

Is It Cliche to say, "That's So Cliche?"

Massaging the Truth!

The Greasiest Spoon .. and a New DIY Challenge!

A Big Hit at the Auction!

This IS a Beauty Salon, You Dolt!

Stop and Smell the ..Yeah, You Know!