Dee-lusions of Grandeur

which is mostly a set-up for a groaner of a pun of a word play!

Made this one back in December for Dawn (Commentator) and this is what I had to say in the post for her trading folder:

I was still in bimbo writing mode and tossed off this fast food quickie for you, mostly because I had a tad bit of wordplay bouncing around in my head .. and until recently I had no idea that the last word in my caption, which was often the first word following "Dairy Queen" on the sign, was until I looked it up online!

... and of course, I posted a PS to let anyone that didn't get the punchline, which was probably 90 percent of the population that is walking this earth, and that might be an underestimate, what exactly I was referring to!

The "Brazier" name has been slowly phased out of signage and advertising since 1993, although it has not been removed from all existing signage. Since the early 2000s, new or renovated locations which are similar to Brazier restaurants in terms of size and menu selection, but have been updated with the current DQ logo and/or exterior, usually carry the name "DQ Restaurant", although the DQ website's Store Locator still lists the non-G&C stores as "Dairy Queen Brazier" and the smaller stores "Dairy Queen Ltd Brazier".

I lived for a short time in Florida when I was young and there was a Dairy Queen Brazier about 2 blocks from the house I was in .. I thought it was pronounced like the undergarments, hence the caption!

Yeah, it was probably a long way to go for such a short payoff, but when has that ever stopped me before? The "plot" as it were pretty much came to me all at once. I believe that there aren't even lenses in the glasses that the model is wearing .. did you notice? .. its easy to get distracted I know. It was obvious that she was trying to look smart, and my brain went into bimbo mode. IQ became DQ, which implied Dairy Queen (which she does have a pair of wonderful milk mountains) which lead me to brazier .. hence the caption. It does seem quite organic, don't you think?

Braziers are mentioned in the Bible. The Hebrew word for brazier is of Egyptian origin, suggesting an invention imported from Egypt. The only reference to it in the Bible is in Jeremiah 36:22–23, where braziers heat the winter palace of King Jehoiakim. In some churches a brazier is used to create a small fire, called new fire, which is then used to light the Paschal candle during the Easter Vigil.

Who'd have thunk that a pointlessly lame bit of wordplay in a TG caption would have its origins from a piece of the bible, especially since we are now in lent? Not me!

What sort of caption would you have made out of the photo in this caption? I"m pretty sure you wouldn't have used a Dairy Queen reference, but what does the picture inspire in you? If I hadn't written this out, I'd might have gone with some sort of Superman story.

The cold never bothered me anyway!

Who doesn't want to be a princess .. yes, even Dee wishes to be a Disney princess, but definitely on her terms! BTW, this is the second time I've made this caption tonight! I had the picture all placed in a setting when photoshop crashed big time .. and I had already closed the window where the photo was taken from! AARRGGHH! It took me another 45 minutes to find the damn picture, because trust me, there aren't many ice queens dressed in a black gown. Then, I saved the photo so I wouldn't lose it again .. and I wanted to actually give credit to the model because she's very alluring .. and Firefox crashed on me too! Double AARRGGHH!! Well, I finally got it all together and here it is!

Perhaps those "Disney is trying to indoctrinate children to be gay." people are possibly on to something, though I seriously doubt it. The lyrics above, and honestly I only changed one line slightly, are quite positive in regards to, "live your own life on your own terms, don't be afraid to let the true you show through." Hopefully many teens seeing this, or younger kids that later grow up, will remember the message and not cause themselves much grief in denying their true desires. I hope there are a bunch of little boys dressing up like Elsa for Halloween. Each of them will get an extra piece of candy from me and a knowing wink!

So anyway, here's the big hit song that is quite Meatloavian sounding to me, which is probably why I like it .. perhaps 30 years ago it would've been song by Bonnie Tyler. And no, I'm not going for the Demi Lovato version. I may now be a princess, but I'm definitely not a teenage girl! I much prefer the Adele Dazeem rendition!

And since we always like to have fun, here's the HONEST TRAILER for Frozen!

Its totally unanimous!

I also want to be an evil scientist, so I can have some minions that will do my bidding, but alas, science was not by strong point in High School, and I don't remember a damn thing about whatever Lab Science class I took in college. Honestly, I would have to look at my college record to see what class it was I passed. Anyone else have problems remembering certain classes they took as a general education requirement besides me?

Anyway, this was written for Kellie Rae a few weeks ago and posted today. To me, its a sister caption to one I made a few months ago, called, "Wendy Is Not For Sale!" which I posted in January. They both focus on a woman's eyes, and involve creating a woman from a man, but in the end, I think they still stand on their own. I think its something you have to be able to do when you've made 1500 or so TG captions, and that is to revisit themes without duplicating what you've written before.

It happens to me now and again, where I'll have something set up and I'll say, "Hmmm, I think I've done or read that before," and have to step back and attack it from a different angle. It can be hard to stop yourself, trust me. Hell, I've used that scenario to create some meta-captions that make fun of the very idea that there are only so many ways to change a man into a woman, and you can knock yourself out trying to one up yourself by whipping up Magic Elevators, Cupcakes, Living Lingerie and enough evil, vengeful women to make most guys run screaming away from anything that could possibly have a vagina!

I can only assume its why I've done more sissy or "willing" captions lately. There are still some magical elements in that I am not exactly explaining all the intricacies to the reader, but its a different venue that I haven't become overwhelmed with, and it gives me a breather to return to what got me to the party so to speak. Those newer captions bring in people who haven't seen my other captions before, and it leads me to see what makes those readers tick. Cross-pollination can make for some pretty awesome flowers, and some pretty fucked up mutants as well, and its a privilege for me to unveil them all for you!

This post had nothing to do with the fact that I have a eye doctor appointment tomorrow, I swear! I haven't been in over 8 years so I should totally assume that my eyes are so much better than they were in 2005! Right? Great ... I am going to find out I've been captioning with pictures of squirrels in bras and panties for the last 5 years! UUGGHHH!! Why didn't anyone tell me! LOL

Don't you know its impolite to stare? Bueller? Bueller?

Made this one awhile back when we had a Caption Contest on the Haven involving either a motivational poster or a LOLcats (cheezburger). I think everyone knows what a motivational poster is, and there is now something called a de-motivational poster, which has taken on a life of its own .. some of which you can see HERE.

Pretty much the setup is a word or two in big letters, and then some sort of aphorism, pithy saying, or definition intended to inspire or think. I loved making them because I am often not one for verbosity, and you don't have to add a lot of detail. In fact, just a sentence or two with a stinger is the preferred way to write one.

So why haven't I created more of them? Well, other than the fact that I really hadn't thought about them for awhile ..they tend not to work well for caption trades, which is still around 90 percent of my output since I started back in 2008 or so. I am not sure that most people want something THIS open ended and vague, especially if they put a good amount of time making a caption specifically for me.

I also made a LOLcats caption but it was way too vague so I don't think I even submitted it. Five words and I think I misspelled cock in it, which probably should be cawk. Anyone out there speak fluent, "I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER?"

I couldn't any further without mentioning another musical death. Dave Brockie, aka Oderus Unrungus, was truly one of a kind. I know some people take them as a bit of a joke band, but there wasn't nothing left to chance with GWAR. The stage show, and the music, was always over the top, but you can't deny their imaginations or their skill at both stage props and musical ability. It was done all tongue in cheek, and they offended everyone. Brockie was Trey and Matt from South Park 12 years before there WAS a South Park.

Even Fox News got it, as Oderus was their "interplanetary correspondent" on Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld, until Sarah Palin found out that Gwar was beheading her on stage and got him fired. Never mind that they have beheaded every president on stage, regardless of political party affiliation. Even Joan Rivers liked him back when they were first starting out.

From Joan to Jerry Springer to Geraldo .. they all loved Gwar because they were so entertaining, and that was mostly due to the talents of Dave Brockie. We will miss you Oderus!

Or do you think his day is picking up nicely?!?

Made this one today when I had a bit of time before the GF got home from work. When I saw this picture, it gave me the idea that this crossdresser is trying to get back to the house before his wife gets home and can catch him dressed up. From there, for some reason, I saw a horror movie developing, but your results may vary!

Perhaps for those who want this more as a fantasy, Hank is a hunk of a man, perhaps driving the protagonist's wife home as a chauffeur. Did she perhaps notice her husband's car on the side of the road and wonder why there was a hot blonde looking underneath the hood? In THIS scenario, I think the blonde is that good friend of the blog .. Leeanne!

Either way, trying to talk your way out of it was a good start. Hank upped the ante a bit though, so what would you do next? Expose yourself as a cross-dressed man on a kinky little vanity cruise and hope he gets weirded out but doesn't hurt you? Keep pretending and have to do something to get him to either fix your car or leave you alone? Have him find out the little secret and enjoy it even more, making you do something even more embarrassing than what is already going on?

Let me know what you think is going to happen with our protagonist, Hank the Tank, and the wife that is arriving home soon! And yes, I think subconsciously I was thinking of this video when I was making the caption .. or at least writing it up here on the blog!

Dammit! Somebody stop her!

Had a pretty creative weekend where I whipped up a few captions I consider high quality. Its amazing what you can do when you are just sitting around the house with no one around, no pressure, and the peace of mind that if you make nothing extra-ordinary, you are still having a nice quiet day!

I am hoping to stay in the groove moving forward. March has been quite a grind for me, truth be told, with lots happening emotionally, weather and health wise, and in work and side jobs. I've had to do some repairs on a few computers for paying customers, did income taxes for a number of individuals after work (and not even MINE yet! EESSH!) and March being such a dark time of the year .. all those things have kept me from really stretching creatively like I usually do.

The caption above is finally complete after only maybe ummm, six years of having that picture saved in my d'archives. It always seemed like such a slam dunk that I never placed it in a caption setting and when I came across it today, I almost turned it into a DIY challenge. Why hadn't I used it before? I'd hate to say that a trade partner looked like the guy in the background before the body swap. Maybe some of you do resemble that man, but for me, I would prefer that my thoughts about you are all as a handsome, attractive guy that is in their late 20's to mid 40's. Your mileage may vary, but regardless of what you look like, I am going to keep my imagination hot and spicy!

And speaking of DIY and brain farts, I totally had forgotten that Helena had sent in a DIY blurb for the last challenge I posted over a month ago. I knew that Ian had done something, but I didn't quite want to end it with only one submission .. then I checked the replies to my last post and was reminded that Helena HAD in fact sent something to me through email! So sorry for taking so much time when there needn't have been such a delay!

First up is Ian's scenario. Both of these were a bit hard to map out since you have to read back and forth for them to work. I think that if you've read comic books before, you can probably keep up though and figure out how the dialog flows from one person to another.

Quite a little tale that Ian worked up that unfolds nicely as you are reading it, and I love the lack of clarity in their thinking that keeps the competition going between them.

Helena works on a classic tale of boys spying on girls and their forbidden flesh, getting caught and punished. What fun! Its certainly much more fun to watch than when Ms. Ballbricker nabbed the guys from Porky's in the shower scene.
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Great job! Hopefully the next time we run a DIY we'll get even more people trying! And that next time will be in the next post! So stay tuned! It will hopefully be a hot one!

Hmmm, why did I pick this song? Is it too predictable? LOL

It's Dawn reporting live from the Haven Newsdesk! News on the two's!

Made this one about a week ago for Dawn (Commentator on the Haven) and to be honest, I'm not quite sure why I went with sex-changing aliens for the caption. Actually, my first thought was probably with Putin and the Ukraine, and unconventional warfare. I am not sure if its a global menace or something from outer space, but Dawn is definitely looking at it!

Thanks for commenting on my blog post where I talked about a caption I made for you here on the Haven. Redundancy is alive and well here!

Anyway, I was thinking about you when I saw this photo on the interwebz and thought about a news reporter, hence YOU are that person!

The moral of the story for people following along ... comment on people's captions and they may end up making you a caption!

So now I am referencing a post I made on the Haven about how she made a comment on my blog post which I had posted to the Haven. Not quite inception, but it'll have to do! So remember to comment and you might star in one of these captions someday!

Here is the latest DIY challenge. Tried to get a bit more romantic, steamy, or whatever you'd like to call this one! I hope it inspires people to create something exciting and fun.

I can, and will edit the picture and caption setting as needed, because I wanted to have enough space for someone to write a few paragraphs on the side, and/or underneath. If you are long-winded enough, I can use both the side and the bottom. Not sure it would work to the right, so we''ll just call that spot a dead area and maybe I'll put the creators name and DIY over in that position.

Won't be around tomorrow. The guys who used to be MST3k, now called Rifftrax, will be on the National Geographic Channel, Tuesday, April 1 from 8 PM to 11 PM EST making fun of a bunch of animal short subject films and shows from the channel itself. Gonna be 3 hours of bliss!

I think I'd been reading too many french maid stories!

Get your hot steaming caption, fresh from the oven! Made this one in the afternoon and figured I'd post it now while its warm and juicy. I wasn't planning on making a caption today, as I figured I'd just wander around some amateur sites and see what could turn me on. I enjoy this model, since she's short, chubby, well-endowed, lots of long flowing hair down to her ass, and usually well dressed. This time however, she is in comfy hang-around clothing and carrying a laundry basket while touching her boobs. How could I *NOT* use this picture in a caption?

I caught a "french" maid story the other day about a girl that ends up changing her female roommate into an actual French maid who only talks in the language of love, and wears skimpy outfits blah blah blah and that whole, "guys who live together in a messy apartment so they want/need a maid, etc .." presented itself to me here.

Why is this one different that so many of the others that have been produced over the years? Well, not much exactly, other than perhaps I am tying the chores to sexual pleasure AND hopefully that crass wordplay at the very end? in the long run, does it matter? I am taking what the picture gave me and having some fun while doing it by just SLIGHTLY twisting the premise. Her outfit is pretty much the antithesis of what French Maid captions usually entail and for me, makes it seem more real.

And truly, I don't care if you NEVER wanted to be a girl in the slightest .. you would most definitely enjoy playing around with your boobies and other new parts. At least you'd have THAT big of joy going for you, and oftentimes I think we forget about that when writing. There is no shame in admitting that .. unless it embarrasses you to tell others just WHO you were fantasizing about when you achieved your first (or tenth) female orgasm!

Another huge month here on the blog, with another record setting amount of page views. Almost made 150k in March! Thanks again for stopping by and looking at my creative work. See you again in a day or two with another caption!

Anyone of those babes can dust my credenza anytime!

Real torture would've been an endless loop of Christmas Shoes, amirite?

Whipped this up for Ridney on the Haven today while I had some time before heading out to eat for some Italian food with the girlfriend. I saw a model online with yellow heels on, and I thought that it was quite a striking image, and dwelled on it for sometime, wondering why someone would buy a pair of shoes like that, especially when they didn't really match the outfit. Then I realized I was quite focused on them, and that gave me the kernel I needed to whip up this caption.

The hardest part ironically was finding the perfect photo that would draw attention to them, but still had the model's face in the actual picture. I can't tell you how many pictures were just from the knees or ankles on down to the shoes. They looked great, but I really didn't want to give someone a caption with just the bottom 5th of a woman unless they were huge fans of feet. I have no idea if Reggie was a foot fetish enthusiast, so I went with my original thought. It took about 10 minutes to find this one, and I'm glad I did, since I think it does make the story much more palatable. I did a bit of Photoshop alteration to bring out the yellow a bit more with a few color adjustments. At one point, I had thought about doing a black and white wash effect to leave just the yellow shoes, but in my opinion, the rest of the photo is monochrome enough that I didn't think it needed to be done. I also thought that it'd be a bit too gimmicky if I made all the "YELLOW SHOES" stand out in yellow. If I had made this caption in 2009, I probably would have succumbed, and overall it would have suffered for it.

Have lots of little chores and things that need to be done this weekend so we can do family traveling when Easter hits in two weeks. Not sure if I'll be posting on Saturday or Sunday, though I plan to post on one of those days. I guess we'll see how I feel tomorrow evening. Hope everyone dropping by here has a wonderful weekend with lots of fun activities to keep you busy!

Is the choice really that hard? Everyone's got a price!

Made this caption the other day for Ashlee (Totalditz) on the Haven. It really is much more expensive to be a girl than a teenage boy. Couple pairs of jeans, couple pairs of T shirts, a week's worth of underwear and socks, and a pair of sneakers and you are good to go! Its no wonder they spend most of their allowance on video games, junk food, and video games.

So with that in mind, I had the idea for this caption brewing in my head for awhile, but really hadn't pulled the trigger until I found this picture. It really had everything I needed to whip it up finally and some time to get it just right. Something about the model told me that this was the threshold from being a tomboy to really starting to embrace the femininity that was trying to work its way out.

I also wanted to get the logic right as you wouldn't think that most boys would go along with it unless there was an ulterior motive .. money and lots of access to pretty girls would do it I think .. and then once he was in, he had to be committed to keeping up with it, no matter what. I'm sure from time to time the mom had to keep after her, but I'm sure Mommy was up for the challenge considering the devious idea in the first place!

It really is a fallacy that women aren't competitive, its that they don't think most of what boys fight over is worth it. I can imagine that the pecking order of any set of girls is in the realm of the whole "Game of Thrones" social skullduggery. Hell, I've seen it between my daughter and those you'd think were her best friends. So how do you rise throughout the ranks? By being the most girl you can be .. and underwhelming in the boob area can definitely keep you on the outside looking in. Another area would be having a really cool (and older?) boyfriend so it looks like Ashlee is looking for that boost, though maybe she doesn't quite realize it yet!

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I didn't accomplish quite as much as I wanted, but it was a very ambitious list I had set up for us. We even did a bit of karaoke with my daughter after she got out of work (another new job!) before heading home tonight. I am planning on doing some more captioning this week, with some photos already in a caption setting, and I have a number of half completed work ready to be pondered over and posted too.

C'mon Dani! I know you can make your sales quota!

Started this one for Dani Colorado the other day, but ended up getting side tracked. Took me a minute to remember exactly where I was going with this, so I hope I didn't fuck up by leaving it alone for a few days. I guess you, the readers, will be the final judge of that!

Not sure if I mentioned it or not, but March was once again the biggest month as far as page hits that this blog had received, coming close to hitting 150k! That is almost 5k per day! As of right now, we have 2756 published comments on 573 posts. Once again, a big thanks to everyone that pops on her on a consistent basis, and I hope you'll keep dropping in and pulling some friends in with you!

I'll be back in a day or two, depending on whether I can finish MY taxes soon. Everyone else is taken care of, including a few people that asked me for last minute help. Hopefully I won't owe too much to Uncle Sam, since I've been a really naughty girl this year, under strict federal guidelines of course!

▶ Alice cooper Gimme video clip - Vidéo Dailymotion

This seems to be the only "official" version of the video that I remembered. Its much more fun than the live version from 2005 which seems to now be the official version on Youtube. Oh well!

If you don't look good .. we don't look good!

Made this for one of the earlier editions of the Haven Quarterly. We really wanted it to look magazine quality, so we definitely had to have advertisements in there somewhere. We had a few pages of half captions, so these were put in to fill up the spaces.

Why were both ad for "Huts" ?? Well, it was mostly an inside joke amongst us, that no matter what you sold, it should be in a hut, like Pizza Hut or Yarn Hut. Nothing more, nothing less, but it is a funny word, and if I can't work "CREDENZA" into my work, then perhaps "HUT" will keep me giggling like a school girl on laughing gas.

Magazine advertisements are so ingrained into our life on the planet, we probably don't even process 80 percent of what is created, but its a rich mining ground for TG caption ideas though. At least I think so! We've covered them before, like HERE, and I have some more in the D'archives I'll be pulling out at some point I think.

SOME SHORT TAKES (not worthy of a full blog posting!)

Congratulations go out to Amanda's Reading Room for hitting one million page views! She always produces quality work that are too long to be captions, but not quite short enough to be captions either. That doesn't make my case too well so just head on over there and look at her PDF's!

Another thing I'd like to mention is the whole "traffic feed" thing that has been added to many blog sites. I am very uncomfortable with them, even if there is "no tracking" element to them. I am not too naive to think that there is no way someone could trace my IP and its point of origin back to me from one of these plug-ins. Therefore, nothing personal, but I'm not commenting on your site, especially since comments are also time stamped. I'll drop in, now and again, using a VPN, but sorry, no feedback for you.

I go out of my way here to keep people anonymous if they wish to be, and that includes the ability to post anonymously without CAPCHA on the last 7 days worth of posts, and anything after 7 days with confirmation that it isn't spam. Trust me, its not fun clearing out the SPAM folder every day, but until that becomes unbearable, commenting here should be as easy peasy as can be!

Its always interesting to see how people respond to captions here compared to Rachel's Haven. Some posted here get quite a few comments here and at the Haven as well, like Deal of a Lifetime which got 4 comments here and also 4 on the Haven. Usually though, one will have many more than the other. The caption from yesterday, I Don't Really See a Downside, huh Dave? got SEVEN comments on the Haven within 8 hours of posting which is truly a huge amount for a caption there, and somehow its coming up on 24 hours and nothing so far here on the blog. Perhaps its because I didn't really give much of anything resembling a discussion point. Its certainly gotten 7 "loved it!" votes and driven the site to over 9k page views today (HOLY SHIT!!) so I know its popular.

I want to preface this by saying I am not fishing for comments or "omigod I love your work!" I mention this because I really am a bit of a science wonk and I love to study things I don't understand. I've done some SEO (Search Engine Optimization) study in the past while working through some web design classes, and its fascinating to see what drives page hits, comments, etc .. There are so many variables at play, and sometimes it feels so ephemeral, especially when I try to predict what I thought was a trend, and it gets blown out of the water either way, as in WAY more popular, or DAMN, did this post actually go out over the internet? I'd like to think that there is more at play than just chaos theory and random chance. There must be some intelligent design that has carefully crafted everything you see here!

I should have DIY stuff posted in a day or two I think. Hopefully today made up for a lack of verbiage from me yesterday!

This caption is brought to you by Colonel Saunders!

Made this one the other day. I saw the picture and figured, "How could I NOT use this picture? It should literally write itself!" so I put it in a caption setting and attacked it again last night. Not quite sure why I went with a Dad and his brother angle, other than perhaps being a teenage girl might be more humiliating to an older guy than a young one. I mean, other than having your manhood taken away by an ex-girlfriend, having your daughter do it is probably sitting there in second place on the "emasculation list" I would think.

On to the DIY results!

Kaaren had just the right amount of text to make it readable and just what I expected her to come up with. As you'll see with the rest of the captions, I had trouble finding font colors that worked well and didn't overwhelm the picture.

I am sorry Helena, but I had to edit some of what you posted, which was absolutely beautiful. I cut out most of a paragraph and reordered some of it, but I HOPE that I was able to still put the bulk of what you wrote out enough to portray what you wanted.

And here is Helena's second submission. In this one, I think she lets the dialog breath and makes the picture do most of the talking, to great effect!

Certainly cranked out a lot of words for me to put in there! I did a bit of editing there so it would all make sense as you were reading it as if an announcer was saying it on a prologue.

Hope everyone had fun writing up another DIY challenge. I should have something again for everyone to work on soon enough. Should it be harder, or a bit of a softball?

Sometimes you just need to grit your teeth and smile!

I am having a very good weekend after a very stressful week in my personal life and at work. Everything is coming to a head there, and I cannot wait for what will hopefully be a slow down in the next week or two. Plus with the Easter weekend coming up, I am having some apprehension with visiting relatives. They know that I'm not supposed to eat meat, but often forget, and get pissed when I bring some of my own food so I won't starve. For the first time, we are visiting the GF's relatives for Easter, and I've yet to bring food along and I'm afraid they are really going to be offended. I am researching a few options where I can prepare something for myself but invite others to partake in it, though "Fake meat" is often much more expensive than the real thing. Its also a big strain on my GF whenever we go out to eat, because she's really a meat and potato kind of person that hates salads, and veggies other than corn. I think if we had a Golden Corral buffet around here, it might be a bit better for us, but I really can't handle going to a steak house very often. If you don't believe me, look at a Texas Roadhouse menu. Even the salad has meat on it!

Anyway, the weekend weather has been fantastic, and I think it even hit 70 degrees outside. We did a decent amount of cleaning in the kitchen and dining room, so we can actually SEE our table now! We don't really eat at a table here since our work schedules are quite different so when we are together, we usually just take our plates into the living room and eat in front of the television. Very classy I know, but when one person works a first shift, and the other works second, the weekends are about it, and we usually are out and about on Saturday and Sunday. We got to open up the windows and let some fresh air in, and that means the winter curtains come down and the lighter ones go up tomorrow.

We also should be swapping the clothing bins, bringing out the summer clothing and putting away all the warm gear that was much needed these last 5 months. The pantry will also be cleared out, and we'll donate all the soups and other canned goods we didn't use but will expire soon to the local food pantry. They need the food so badly, that I know it won't go to waste or expire. Pretty soon it will be time to break out the Air Conditioner units!

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Made the above caption for Marissa, who likes hypnosis. With a Haven name of "hypnofeminizeme" I would guess that would be a given! She supplied the picture, and believe it or not, the thing that drew me to the photo was her really white teeth. I thought, "who, whoever changed her must've spent a fortune on the transformation!" and that worked its way into the caption itself. I also am pretty sure that she is tied to a wheelchair, which is a great device to use in bondage. You won't have to carry the sub around .. just push him/her wherever you need them to be! I was in complete "evil genius gives a monologue blah blah blah" mode when I wrote it. Who doesn't want to gloat about what they have accomplished and the victim is all the better for having heard. You really don't want to keep things like that a secret, eh?

I wrote a caption a few weeks ago, and intend to post it for Easter morning. Its hard to sit on something for a few weeks when you really want people to see it and hope that they like it. I am hoping that everyone will feel like it was worth the wait. Is that a good enough teaser? LOL

I could see this role in the movie being played by Brad Pitt with George Clooney playing Gerry.

I honestly have no idea how the hell I came up with the idea behind this caption. I was just looking for source pictures to inspire me, and as soon as I opened this one up, I saw her as the "after" in disguise for a big time bank hold-up. I mean, if you are looking for a scruffy guy with whiskers and an old hoodie, in men's clothing .. you don't expect them to clean up this nicely without some preperation before hand, eh?

Something tells me that Gerry is going to get caught, and Penny will have both halves of the payday, don't you think? Hell, perhaps the trap is already set. "Thank you, Miss Goodbody for turning in this bank robber. Since you are an obviously high-priced escort, he was trying to impress you with a story that turned out to be true! Its a shame that you had to kill him after he told you how he disposed of his partner's body but we never blame the victim in this city, especially with that kinky cowboy shit he was trying to make you perform. I am truly sorry that you can't collect your usual fee, but if we find any trace of his cohort in the vat of acid he described to you in great detail, perhaps a little reward will be coming your way. If only he had told you where he hid it all, you could have a bigger finders fee. Detective Jenkins will show you out the precinct office now."

.. is not having to wait for Morning Wood to chill out when you have to pee!

Made this little quickie for Ridney on the Haven, who is a relative newbie there, but comments on others captions, and is starting to get friendly with the all the trading captioners. I really liked the photo when I found it last week, and knew it would go well into a caption. At this point, I don't really download that many pictures that aren't used at some point within 30 days or so, because I just have that instinct honed really well. I mean, I still have some that are more challenging and interesting that might not be generated quickly, but I tend not to "waste" hard drive space much anymore with images that will sit there for months or even years. I probably SHOULD purge a bunch of them, but I've not had the heart to do so, as I just KNOW there will be some trade I need to make and "DAMMIT! I had the perfect image for them!"

I continue to slowly work on Spring cleaning, which just goes to show how unorganized and messy this place has been. Actually, with the daughter pretty much moved out, we are trying to go through everything this apartment has stored in it, and hopefully downsize. Its a noble effort, and perhaps we will actually make headway, but truth be told, any extra space we get will most likely be filled with newer stuff! It'd still be nice though to get rid of some things that just seem to stay in plastic tubs from move to move. If I haven't needed it in 9 years (the last time we moved was in 2005) what are the odds that I WILL need it? Then again, someone might say, "I'd give anyone ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS to anyone with a floppy disc version of AOL 2.5!" and "DAMMIT! I had one of those but I JUST threw it out!"

Nice to see I'm not only a digital pack rat, but also one in meat space!

One of my favorite bands of all time. Guitar solos like a waterfall sweeping you off a cliff, drowning you with a cascade of notes, rushing along like a dalmation eager to accompany the fire engines to the dog biscuit factory five alarm fire. And of course, Henry Rollins being Henry.

You people kick ass . you truly do!

Went to see the stats for the day, and VIOLA (or trombone, depending on if you saw Caitlyn's post for me earlier today) I noticed that we hit 3.5 million views sometime today! Too fucking cool! I know not everyone celebrates every half million, but for me, it took some time for each milestone until recently, so at this point, it's (a) a marker to keep track of when I hit milestones, and (b) another chance to thank everyone for being along for the ride. I have almost 2800 comments now .. 2800!! .. and yeah, some of them are my replies, but I think that is what the comments section is for, giving ideas, thoughts, and feedback between the viewers and the creator. With almost 600 posts on the blog now, that is an average of 4-5 comments per post .. and once again than you for having a dialog with me .. its so much better than me talking to a wall or the stray cats that live outside the apartment.

An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look... see.

I am not sure if I am posting tomorrow, but I should have my "Easter" caption up on Saturday night or Sunday morning. It all depends on what time we get back from the GF's family gathering. Actually, if we get back at a decent hour, we might head to Karaoke since my daughter now has yet another job, working as a waitress at a restaurant/bar. She already has a following there as she's quite a cutie AND quite the singer .. she is a chip off the old block!

It takes a little more work than just clicking your heels together 3 times!

Made this one a few weeks ago and thought it was really sweet and that it was some of the best work I've done in quite some time. I hope everyone else feels the same way. Either way, let me know what you think since its a blog exclusive. In case you couldn't read her hose, here is a closeup:

Its made for all of you .. the readers, those who never say a word, and all the friends that take the time to comment below. I would like to think that no matter what style of TG Caption you enjoy, from crossdressing, magical, technological, sissy or shemale, blonde, brunette or redhead, you'll be able to picture yourself in this moment of awakening and new adventures. Its spring now, a time for rebirth and reinvention.

Shed the doldrums of the winter and your past, because today is the first day of journey into the rest of your life. All it takes is that first step ... in heels if you wish ... to let your dreams take you where you want to go. There's no time like the present, and the quicker you get started, the further away you get from any negativity that is dragging you down. And if you are already where you wish to be, be grateful for the path others have blazed for you, and help those who struggle in the underbrush.

We were at the GF's family gathering today and there was this little girl there, probably 14 months old? (so many relatives I didn't bother asking.) She could walk, sorta, but would take a few steps and fall down on her butt. She'd climb up to her feet again and then walk a bit more and then fall down. After about 4 falls, she finally made it to where she was going and cheered! Just to herself, though I saw it and smiled at her. Such an allegory for life I thought, as earlier we saw the GF's mom, who had suffered a few mini-strokes within the last 6 months, and is currently in a rehab facility. Its not how many times that you fall down, its that you get up again and dust yourself off afterwards that makes all the difference!

But no, he certainly isn't a stalker, is he?

Don't have much time to write up a blog entry today as it was another day filled with family and friends. The highlight was probably a picture we shot today of the 4 generations of my family: my daughter, me, my dad, and my grandmother. Both Memeres are almost 90, so you never know how much longer they'll be around, so it was important that since we were all in the same room, we took a picture. Both grandmothers have buried their husbands at least 10 years ago, plus at least one of their children (my Memere on my mom's side has outlived both my mom by 20 years and another son out of 4 children) so We cherish every memory. Even my daughter loves to see the family, and as a late teen, it can be hard to get them interested, but she tries to see them as much as she can. Its really a shame that not all of the grand children and great-grandchildren feel the same way.

On a more positive note, work should be slowing down after this week, which hopefully means a more normal captioning schedule for me. I've got that creative itch that needs to be scratched, so I'm hoping there are lots of good source photos out there awaiting my perusal! Onward and upward!

If you haven't looked at my last post, please do. Its a heartfelt caption and writeup that I think everyone will enjoy!

You DID remember to reward your underlings in the office today, right?

I didn't want to let another Admin. Asst. Day go by without acknowledging it with a caption, and I knew just the person that should receive it. Sarine Davis (aka Belladonna on Fictionmania) has done so many great TG Office stories over the years, that I felt it was my duty to make something to show her how much I appreciate her work. Of course, I REALLY had to boil down the plot so that it would fit into a caption space, so there is no room for any sort of subtlety or nuance like there would be in a story written by Belladonna, but I could definitely see this as a blurb to one of her stories.

Today at our office, many people were off-site, but we made plans to celebrate it on Thursday by heading to the sushi bar for Happy Hour. I like to think of it as a team building exercise for one, and a chance to show appreciation for all the hard work. At least that is how I look at it, since I will be one of the people appreciated with free food and drink! WOOHOO!

I am going to have some free time on Saturday morning, especially if the weather is shitty .. anything you'd like to see captioned? A certain plot point, model, genre or other idea you'd fancy to see in a TG caption? Let me know as I'm hoping to make at least 3-4 captions over the weekend!

You Certainly Are a Dairy Queen!

Let the Storm Rage On ...

The "Eyes" Have It!

What's My Motivation?

Got a Bad Feeling About This!

Come Back Here With My ... and a resolution to an old DIY!

Don's Got the Scoop .. or Is It Two Scoops? New DIY Challenge too!

At Least You Aren't in a Laundrymat!

The Yellow Shoes

Deal of a Lifetime .. or Deal of a Lifestyle?!?

I Don't Really See A Downside, huh Dave?

The Next Thing in TG Advertisements

Carousel of ... Roosters? and the DIY results!

Less Questions or More Answers?

In 'Broad' Daylight No Less!

The Best (or Worst) Part of Waking Up

Not Enough Options .. and 3.5 Million Views!

Happy Easter .. Meet Me in Paris!

Trying to Get a Little Bit Closer!

Happy Administative Assistants Day 2014!