Dee-lusions of Grandeur

We shall see how it goes in a few weeks!

Made this one for Kendall on the Haven. I had the caption setting for quite some time, and lost track of it back about 6 months or so ago. Finding it gave me an idea that I thought would work well with Kendall's preferences. Here are a few response to the caption:

"Nice concept and cap. The ending was fun" ~ Sarine Davis

"That hypothesis is very true. :D " ~ Jillisa

Interestingly enough, my original thought was just to end it at the "socially inept" line as sort of a zinger, but I wanted something more that could linger and manifest itself later. I worked out something extra that does seem truthful enough. Give a guy not used to attention of any sort the spotlight, and it might have an impact on future behavior, especially if they liked the way it felt.

I wonder if that is a reason why some guys like to dress up in women's clothing. Just where the positive reinforcement came in and what was it exactly? Was it attention given to them by a mother, sister, girlfriend, etc .. when dressed? Just the way things felt from a tactile standpoint (ie. I love the way nylons feels on the legs, especially when the thighs or calves are rubbed together or when a silky skirt/dress sways against them) or from a, "this is the way I should be dressed!" point of the outside body image matching the inside image of who we are. Perhaps its a "I am naughty when I do this!" or "I feel closer to her when I'm in her clothing." I guess everyone is different, but it tends to manifest itself almost the same way.

It is nice to know though that I didn't just pull that hypothesis out of my ass, but that others tend to think its a pretty good theory. Either way, it certainly does explain why many people do keep going back to it, even after they swear they'll never do it again. If its in you, its IN YOU!

Have some fun and check it out! Make your own!

Don't read the caption until after you've read the discussion, just in case you want in on the contest! I wasn't planning on posting tonight, but when I saw this, I wanted to put it up as soon as possible.

We've been having a discussion about cliches, overused tropes, and the like in dealing with TG captions on the Haven, and Jinny mentioned something about reverse mad libs. We'd done an actual Mad Lib caption here back in January of 2011 I believe which you can view HERE.

This one is a "reverse" Mad Lib in that she provided the following words and picture and said you had to whip up a story containing each one within the plot.

So this little challenge was thought up. Reverse Mad Lib. I supply the inserted information and the photo. You mad genius' create the caps using the information supplied. Maybe you want to try it and supply your own little info.

Do you dare accept this challenge?

Number: 632
Adjective: Anxious
Name: Scott
Noun:Bike
Adjective: Crushed
Plural Noun: Vials
Color: Pink
Adjective: Tight
Number:23

So, seeing that picture, I almost wrote an entire sentence with all the words and numbers she supplied. I guess it really connected well with the photo. From there, I just fleshed it out more and tried to make it an actual caption; one that if you didn't know that certain words were given for you to use, wouldn't seem out of place. Its why the last line is actually what it is, as I wanted to tie everything in together from beginning to end.

So anyway, I am taking this opportunity to have you whip up your own "Reverse Mad Lib" where you take those words and numbers and write a story based around the picture. Submit to either my email or leave your writing in the comment section. You have until Friday, May 2nd. Not only will I set the text in the caption, I will also post it to the original Haven posting so everyone can compare what they wrote with others to see how far apart their ideas were. Once you are done, feel free to read what I have created and compare/contrast those as well!

Though I'm not sure how everyone will see you in a few hours!

Whipped this one up yesterday while I had some time to actually sit down and make some captions. The fun thing was they seemed to come really quickly, once I found a source picture that inspired something for me to work with. The previous caption, aka the current DIY caption setting, took me literally 7 minutes from start to finish, then another 3 minutes to polish off the rough edges. I am so happy when things like that occur, like I can tap directly into my psyche and put it into a digital format for everyone to see.

Looking back on this caption now, I think I see a bit of influence from one of the weirdest cult classics of the 1970's, Mae West's Sextette. She was quite old at the time, and it costars a very young Timothy Dalton as her sixth husband. They seem to treat her like she's STILL a sex symbol, even though she was 85 years old when the movie came out! Trust me, you have to see it to believe it!

Anyway, they conduct business in the honeymoon suite, and obviously that has influenced this caption as I was creating it. Who wouldn't want to use a word like boudoir? Its almost as fun a word to say as credenza or shish kabob! Besides, its nice to see former Alpha Males serving me after trying to take me to the cleaners in some business deals. I guess they didn't know who they were fucking with, eh? They certainly remember now!

I'm still taking submissions for the DIY through Friday night, so if you come up with something, post it to the comments and I can throw them together over next weekend. Once you do, feel free to check out the one I posted and see how alike, or different, they all came out!

My face is up here Buddy!

Here's a quickie I made a five(!) years ago for Kat, who as you can see, likes to be really well endowed in the chest, so why not indulge her? I don't think anyone else seems to mind either!

I've got some captions I made recently that I really like coming up, including one I made for Terri which I remodeled after I thought I was done. I saved the original, so I'll be doing a comparison between the two and why I changed what I had originally done.

Also, I might do the same for another caption that I made, but I just don't like the wording and phrasing I used, and it feels disjointed. That one might be a week away before posting, I guess depending on if/when I feel more comfortable with the final result.

Next up should be a caption I made for Transmute the other day that I created as sort of a reverse TG cliche caption. It can be a lot harder to make those since you have to really pull back the shortcuts we tend to use to make people understand what's going on without using more words. You'll have to tell me if I succeeded or failed in that endeavor!

So, hopefully I will have stirred up your curiosity enough to keep popping back in here for the next week or two. There is still a few days left to get in your DIY .. go back a few days to find it here on the blog .. as sometime Friday night is the deadline I believe. My goal is to work on them over the weekend, post them to the Haven on Sunday Night and follow it up here next week!

Read the caption first .. there be spoilers ahead!

Believe it or not, I got the idea of this through remembering 2000 Maniacs and Brigadoon, and swung it around to a TG caption (of an old tradition from before anyone can remember a la Wicker Man) by way of the recent posting about how to avoid cliche and hackneyed writing.

There are so many captions about how if the new girl gets cum on her or in her (or achieved an orgasm) before a certain time, she'll remain a girl. I figured I could do a caption where the guy in the girl's body had to get laid before a certain time frame to go back to being a guy. Piece of cake really huh? I mean, what could go wrong?

Well, I can imagine that with all those petticoats, garters, stocking, girdles, etc .. Perhaps she'll need bolt cutters!

The hard part about reversing or cutting out overused TG cliches and tropes is that they often serve as a shortcut when creating captions. As soon as you see, "How can I help you this afternoon?" said the man in the bathrobe behind the counter. .. you know its an Spells R Us caption or story and pull in whatever previous knowledge you had to form your expectations about where the story will go. Now, perhaps the writer will bring you on a wild trip with many twists and turns, but guess what? You knew that "the trickster" trope was there to make an appearance, either taking a wish literally, or perverting it to an alternate state.

When you have a chance to "borrow" something with as much back story as Spells R Us, or a typical Magical, Hypnotic Dominatrix .. why wouldn't you? Yes, it can be considered lazy writing, but when you have a caption with a limited amount of textural real estate, cutting out a few sentences that would set up the plot beforehand becomes a godsend.

I am as guilty of this as just about anyone out there, and I use "implied and acknowledged" TG conventions as well, figuring that if you are reading my work, you have a degree of understanding the vernacular that underlies the concept of what goes into a TG caption. Sometimes I wonder if someone that is just starting out reading captions can grasp what I'm trying to do as much as someone that's been following the TG genre for some time beforehand.

I like to bend and break the rules that we use in our TG palette, and I think that you need to know what they are first before you can appreciate those that use them for caption fodder. That is another reason why cliches and tropes are important .. it establishes those "rules" and places them into a codex of what you are likely to see. Most Westerners won't understand Kabuki theater, because there is such a tradition and scope of commonality that the viewer must really be immersed into before any sort of subtlety can be seen.

So what actually am I trying to say here in this (already!) too long blog post? Certain things that pop up in captions over and over really frost my corn flakes, but it can be good in healthy doses to keep everyone up to speed. God knows I wouldn't want to make a bunch captions filled with of almost fully clothed and covered women like the one I posted above, but the only way to be comfortable in our chosen genre of TG Captions is to stretch out and do what hasn't been done before ... enough times to where its considered the new normal. Define the edges and push through them!

I really don't know why this doesn't happen more often, you know?

Didn't have much time to whip something up tonight. Had a very busy day with the Bruins winning and heading to a "pick and pull" to grab some parts for my car. Nothing like getting your hands dirty and diving into a bunch of car wrecks to scavenger parts after watching your home hockey team come from a 2 goal deficit in the last 10 minutes of the game to win by 2 goals. The Montreal "Dive Team" Canadians kept trying and the Bruins showed them all how to man up!

Anyway, this was written for Bimbo Jessica way back in March of 2009. Primitive design wise, but how often do you get to see two hot porn stars giggling in a gag (ha!) blooper reel? as I wrote back when I posted this:

It's just like a monkey's paw, but much less yucky to put in your cooch!

Just a little quickie I made up a week or two ago. Had to let Deedee out for a few minutes, ya know?

So very true! Monkey paws are very not sexy! And unless someone made a caption I hadn't seen, its one of those magical devices you don't see very often in TG captions! I guess that means someone needs to get on that right away!

Anyway, I hope to be back tomorrow night (Sunday) with your regularly scheduled TG Bloggery!

One of the parts of Common Core that we can all agree is wonderful!

Made this quickie a few months ago, but hadn't had a spot as to where to post it. Figured it would be good to post here as I'll be listing the results of the DIY Reverse Mad Libs Challenge.

Pretty explanatory I would think. I bet everyone is thinking back to High School now and what lovely creature of the opposite sex you'd hope would have picked you to be wearing their lingerie, bikini, or field hockey outfit for that weekend! Quite a few candidates spring into my mind. I wonder how many of the girls would secretly be hoping this was actually true: getting a chance to deal with a restless anaconda in their pants for 3 or so days, feeling strong, tall, and invulnerable. What sorts of mischief would YOU have been up to in fulfilling this assignment? You DO have to follow an ordinary weekend that the girl goes through, so its not like you can hang around the comic book store all day, or try to hook up with the college boys .. unless THAT was what they WERE planning on doing! I think we all knew a few of THOSE girls, right?

Anyway, onward to the DIY Reverse Mad Libs Challenge from last weekend! As everyone knows, at least if you READ last weeks post HERE, Jinny on the Haven posted a picture and some words & numbers that needed to be in the caption. Everything else was at the writer's discretion. Here is the one I originally posted, for those who hadn't read it so mine woudn't influence what you wrote.

As I mentioned, it wasn't that hard to do, and the next challenge on the Haven is already up, though I haven't checked it out yet. From there, it was up to YOU to come up with your own story!

Ian submitted this one, and Scott certainly learned his lesson the hard way! I'm sure people could see the pink illumination for blocks!

Then we have Leeanne, who I think makes her first appearance in a DIY challenge! Way to go! A very positive entrance that was just the right length! Like the marines, in and out quickly .. and a few times each night too!

Here is Helena's submission, posted directly to the Haven, and in her own design. VERY direct and to the point, just like Helena herself!

.. and now the rest posted to the Haven, so we can get a good cross-sampling of how each person went about writing up their plot using the supplied words and picture.

This one is from Jinny (Jezebel) who created the Reverse Mad Lib challenge after a discussion we had on some other posting back on the Haven.

And this was created by SciFi Kara, taking the scientific approach, which is almost always a good idea to wrap a TG story around.

Hopefully everyone reading will enjoy this fun-filled challenge to show how even with common words and images, its all up to the individual caption creators in how to compose and reveal the story that is in their head. Anyone up for another round sometime soon?

Just wanted to remind everyone, if they hadn't heard, that we'll be updating most of the software at the Haven starting Monday (Edited, was originally Sunday) night, 12:01 PST (3 AM Eastern Standard Time) and so it will be down for some length of time after that. Its something that MUST be done, as we'd been delaying the upgrade for as long as we could. Now its, upgrade or there won't BE a Haven. Please forgive any glitches, issues, etc .. as we try to get everything under control over how many days its going to take. Hopefully it won't be too painful, but often, once you fix something, it tends to knock something else out of whack. What familiar features might be gone, and what cool things might be new highlights? We have no idea at this point, but hopefully everyone will have the patience to let things play out so the Haven can have at least another 8 years in cyberspace!

Yeah, figured I would give it a shot, trying not to be too cliche.

Really haven't been in the mood to make captions or write about them either for the last few days. Perhaps its Spring Fever, because I am usually always in the mood to discuss stories, premises, and anything of a TG nature. It could be the Haven being updated and remodeled, but I doubt it.

So anyway, I was just looking at some amateur porn, as I often do, and found this picture, and it gave me a bit of an idea that was outside my usual comfort zone, and honestly made me think about using a TG Universe that I'm not particularly fond of playing around in.

Since it did, I figured, what the hell! If it sucks, no big whoop because I didn't make it for anyone. If its good, then I just exercised my captioning muscle a tad and triumphed! If its somewhere in between, like I think it probably is, then it totally reflected my mood I was in while thinking about making a caption today. Low risk, and whatever reward I get is a total and complete bonus!

Since I don't read many Medallion of Zulo captions, I have no idea if I have repeated an often done trope, or made something out of the usual realm. Truthfully, I had to look up how to spell Zulo when I was making a label for it here on the blog. I originally thought it was Zulu.

I'm hoping I didn't rehash the "same old" since people aren't technically switching per se .. I guess our protagonist has become a carbon copy of the drag queen, and the maid became the protagonist. Does it count as identity death if the person that lost it thought that she had actually ended up with the better end of the deal?

Please let me know what you think, as this is going to be a blog exclusive. And if you weren't quite following, pretty much he was wearing the drag queens panties, and had his boxer shorts out so that he could switch back into his old form. The maid found the medallion and ended up touching the boxers and became him. I assume she took the rest of "his clothes". Now he's stuck because he doesn't have the medallion anymore.

Jeez, this kind of sounds like a certain sissy I know online!

Not exactly a Sunshine Superman anymore, is he?

Made this one for Ridney on the Haven, and its the first caption I posted to a trading folder under the new software, which is still being worked on, but functional at least. Now that the trading area is back, I am probably more able to focus on creating captions and something to get me out of this mini-funk that had me in its grips the last few days as I mentioned yesterday, when I pretty much powered through it with the MoZ caption.

Anyway, I had started this one about 1-2 weeks ago, and I'm not a big fan of plain white backgrounds when it comes to source photos, but with the blond hair, etc .. I thought, she is somehow trying to get a quick tan, and from there it went to a medical procedure. Why the hell would a doctor be promoting anything to do with sun tans though .. oh yeah, vitamin D deficiency! Our body makes it for our bodies when we are out in the sun, and we can never get enough of it. If we take it as a supplement, we can take too much and it becomes toxic to us, so it is always better to have (limited) exposure to the sun everyday to keep us healthy.

It worked, and of course you'd need fair hair and skin to absorb the most sun .. and having big boobs like that increases the surface area on which you can absorb it!

I wrote it up but did NOT like the way I had it ended, as it seemed really rushed and I didn't want the doctor getting too excited. Most doctors try to have a calming, dry bedside manner, and if he was agitated, it could transfer to the patient, who really shouldn't be worked up. Here is what I had when I finished it a week or two ago:

That last paragraph leaves a lot to be desired I'm afraid. So I whittled it down a bit, and fudged the science in regards to men a bit. Men that have a vitamin D deficiency tend to also develop prostate cancer, at least according to a recent (May 1st) article I read. It will possibly become one of the indicators they check when trying to diagnose medical issues. Calcitriol is technically a synthetic version of Vitamin D, so what I had the doctor pretty much saying, "we couldn't give you enough in time to save you, and you'll probably would've ended up with prostate issues, SO WE MADE YOU A WOMAN!" Its amazing what you can find online if you do a bit of research! Its just one of those things I try to do to go above and beyond when it comes to making TG captions seem real!

I know I don't usually go all sappy with my musical choices, but for the last few hours, I've been scanning old pictures for my girlfriend and myself for "Throwback Thursday" on Facebook. It all brings back so many memories of my childhood, and one of them was that my mom would sing this to me when I was depressed that I couldn't go outside to play because of rain. When it stopped, she'd sing me the chorus and let me sing the, "its alright!" and then together we'd say, "Sun, sun, sun, here it comes!" This is just such a wonderful version, so simple and beautiful. Enjoy!

The moral of the story is, don't skimp on food prep machines!

Made this one the other day, and as chance would have it, I went shopping at a Target tonight. Bought paper plates, but no paper towels, and got some really good deals on food clearance items! Also bought a 5 movie set of Marx Brothers movies, and who could pass that up?

Just a standard, run of the mill caption. Figured I would give everyone a break with some of the change-up captions I posted this week. I have another one or two on the way .. I have been really trying to think outside the box and hope that not only are they creative, but fun to read.

I should have something posted either Saturday or Sunday night. Will have another DIY challenge coming within the week as well for people who wish to partake. See ya soon!

She definitely had it in her .. well, not the way they originally planned.

Wrote this one up about three weeks ago, and waited to see if I could improve upon it before posting. Other than changing a repetition of "mouth" to "gaping maw" I left it as it was. I really don't like repeating the same words over and over unless its part of a hypnosis caption, so when I saw it ending two consecutive sentences in a row, I made the change. It doesn't make the caption any better per se, but its something that can stick in my craw stylistically.

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I wrote this last night and didn't post it then because I thought I was being bitchy. I certainly was. Also, very opinionated but I think everyone knows me here and kind of expects that. Believe it or don't, I actually wrote stronger things that I had self edited I don't know many of the people's situations, sissy blogs I found through interacting with Kaaren, Leeanne, Sara and a few others. Perhaps they are all more fiction with a smidgen of reality. Maybe they are all 100 percent truth. I left what I had saved last night here because I was pretty passionate about it at the time and why not show what I had written, warts and all. My big "mistake" is that I really shouldn't be telling a domme and their subs what they should do, other than, real life actions have consequences that you can't wipe away with the roll of some dice. There aren't any 'take backs' or 'free spins'. Read at your own peril and don't say I didn't warn you. I certainly won't mind discussion. Never backed away from it before so if you think I was being a bitch when I wrote it, tell me! I don't mind, and I'd probably agree. I do hope thought that you do ponder what I've said before spouting off.

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So yeah, yet another blog exclusive and another caption I like to think presents a twist on the usual TG sissy caption. I think that everyone deserves respect, even when degradation is supposed to be on the menu. Its not supposed to be the sissy's place to stand up for themselves during playtime, and bad form for them if they do, but its worse if they aren't getting proper support from the Mistress. There has to be boundaries, and if they aren't followed, then the Mistress has to step in and enforce the rules. If not, then the game is over, end of story.

And sissies, if there is something going on that you don't like, SPEAK UP! If she respects you and cares for you, she'll listen and make adjustments. Just because you are a sissy, you aren't a doormat. YOU are BOTH supposed to be getting pleasure from the arrangement. As a dominant person, I need to know the boundaries, and push them. I need to know where the line is drawn. If you just say, "well, she's my domme, she must know what's best for me!" or "if she's enjoying it, then I'll go along with it because I love her!" Its my job to be creative and cunning and resourceful, but guess what? Not everything I think up is going to be wonderful and fulfilling to you, or perhaps even to me. I would much rather do something we both love and can commit to fully, rather than have you go along for the ride because you feel that you have to capitulate. There are going to be compromises, but that is part of the give and take. Otherwise, you aren't my lover and partner, you are a sucker. Treating me like a god(dess) is one thing, but if you act like you aren't worth my time, and mean it, then why SHOULD I spend my time on you?

I realize that perhaps that read a bit harsher than I meant, but the main point is that you should have your say, and it should matter. I know more than a few people laugh when I say that subs in a relationship have power, but its true. You always have control until you let someone take it from you.

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Reading it through again, I think I did neuter it fairly well last night. Still, I welcome comments on both the caption, and also what I said, and possibly implied, in what I had written last night.

Pop songs in the 1970's had so much more back story and substance to them. I mostly remembered Sparks from their duet with Jane Wiedlin fro the Go-Go's. A much older guitarist got me into Sparks in the late 90's. Definitely an acquired taste, but I think of them as a pop music version of Frank Zappa and I do think that definition fits them snugly.

Good friends are hard to find .. and keep!

So I am continuing on my path this May of "question everything!" when it comes to caption making. Unlike others I've made though, this one is actually made for someone, namely the recently returned "Britney Shagwell" aka also "Steffi". I had a caption in mind for her with a twist, and her return (lets hope she sticks around for awhile!) coincided with me trying my hand at working around some cliches, so that original nugget was a great start to what I was trying to accomplish.

Britney has a certain style of caption she loves to make, but also takes pains to try to keep them all feel different. Its to her credit that they never seem like the "same old, same old" and I wonder if that is why she heads offline from time to time, as I can imagine that stress involved in coming up with something totally unique again and again. I'm sure burn out and real life are huge factors, but if I were her, I would definitely need a vacation if I had to generate her quality and quantity!

Anyway, I was trying to make a Britney/Steffi caption, with a Britney/Steffi twist and a Dee sensibility. Actually, that isn't QUITE true. I took it as read that what was referenced in the beginning WAS already a Steffi caption and I was just bringing it along further .. the "what comes next" aspect I often ask you the readers to supply details about in my captions here on this blog.

In many of the captions we create, even if the protagonist gets a happy ending, its muted in a "he has to be a girl but at least ..." As Mick Jagger would say, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need." I wanted Steffi to get her full fledged moment in the sun where everything worked out as best as could be. I didn't want to adhere to those sorts of cliches either, so I tried to tread lightly and not be exuberant.

Perhaps Britney has made a caption like this one already. It can be really hard to keep up with her voluminous output. I'm hoping I didn't, and I'm definitely not sure if she's put her sister in tighty whiteys but it was fun to imagine this happening. I can already see the next step in the series. Mom makes Tommy eat lots of gassy and greasy foods, Mountain Dew, and play video games with Ron's old friends when they aren't hanging out at the comic boo store. I can only imagine the embarrassment of Tommy farting in front of her former friends!

Ok, so sometimes I neglect the dance/r&b side of music. I was a DJ but really sided much more with rock/metal/punk because I love noise. I might highlight a few of the jams I used to spin to get the room shakin'. You can't deny this song has such a bounce!

Thought I saw this on the Food Network!

Here's a quickie post, as the Bruins are currently in Game 7 of the playoffs against the Canadians. Either I'm going to be too happy to write up something more substantial, or I'm going to be so pissed off I'll want to chuck my computer against a wall!

I am really surprised I never posted this here, but according to a quickie search, I didn't see it up on this blog. I think its a cute little quickie, and I believe that Kara liked it. And if you are looking for an evil step-mom to use in TG fiction, why not go back to one of the original archetypes?

Apple Pie makes me wanna Shoop!

Not everyone can be Posh, but it certainly was Sporty of them to let him back into the group!

Here's a little quickie I made while taking a break from what has become a very busy life again. I was hoping to be a bit more active in the whole "Rachel's Haven Remodel" and software upgrade, but I really haven't much time to devote to it, never mind creating trade captions, blog exclusives, or even commenting on other TG blogs. It should be a quiet week at work before I take Memorial Day week off for vacation, so maybe I can at least catch up on other captioners blog output.

In the meantime, here is a quickie I made that doesn't show the transformed in the photo. I figured that hasn't been done much, mostly because traders like to see what they look like after the change. I believe you can get a good idea implied from the friends she is coming back to join. I also know very little about WAG's in general, so I did 10 minutes of Google Fu to catch myself up to speed.

The back story is anyone's guess. My thinking was that Chad got scared by how much he was enjoying being a female on the arm of a famous athlete, and perhaps some of that male pride gave him cold feet. If you have a different take on it, I'd love to hear it.

At this point, my week is mostly planned in real life, so I think I have a few gaps to try to make captions and/or blog in the middle of the week. I have another caption lined up, plus a DIY as well, so it shouldn't be as much of a ghost town as last week in here!

.. is not filling enough, especially when you are on a diet!

Made this one for Lyndee back in January of 2012. It was quite a bit of fun to make and you know me .. I love the word play! Why not plant some seeds and enjoy the fruits of your labor now and again, and harvest something from the past that gives you some glee? There were quite a few "apple" references, and even Newton gets his due. If I can get you to chuckle (or groan!) and smile, then I've done my job for the day .. and likely kept the doctor away!

And now, I reveal to you .. the latest in DIY technology! I created the caption setting back in January, and really hadn't tried to whip something up, though I did have some ideas. I figured this would be a fun one to let everyone else tackle. If I get some free time, perhaps I will try to work something up for it too! Lets get really creative! The challenge will end on Sunday, May 25 at midnight PST.

Something I am going to do now to keep others from seeing your submissions until everyone is done .. I have created a "Latest DiY" page where you can submit something there. I think i'll just remake it each time there is a challenge going on. Actually, if you have any other ideas, I will certainly listen to them. I figure the comments here could be used just for the caption I posted above and that way, anyone can read the comments without seeing what others have written for the DIY. You'll find the page right below my blog banner.

Wow! Found a song that works for both photos I posted! How often does THAT happen?

Can't you tell? Her face was flushed!

Made this quickie the other day when I had a half hour or so to spare. The picture appealed to me, though I am not sure if they are all trying to dress up like maids or some anime character. It didn't matter too much though, because I wanted to use the subtle differences to define Dennis, the main character from the other two, even though they were mostly peas in the same pod.

I wanted to post last night, but once again real life gets in the way, and I'm not sure how much I'll be posting over the next week or so. I don't want everyone to think that its shitty times at the Dementia household, as we have some good stuff going on as well that keeps us busy. Just a balance of awesome and "Oh FUCK!" that keeps us spinning around in circles. I do have the week off from work so I can try to celebrate some good things like another anniversary with the GF, and also take care of some un-pleasantries that have risen. Looking to hopefully get life back in order as much as possible by the beginning of June. Most of the postings over the next week or so will be more like this one, a caption with a quickie write up. I hope you'll indulge me until I can start making more long form postings again. Its been an exhilarating and exhausting time all rolled into one!

I cannot wait for this CD to come out in June. Sage Francis is the rap poet laureate of Rhode Island!

Offending foreign cultures for 6 years and counting!

Well, not really. Just having the usual fun of finding spelling errors on Chinese menus. I have to pick my daughter up from work around midnight from her shift at a Chinese place so I figured, what the hell, just post this one up real quick! Made it back in June of 2008 for Alexia. If she's still out there, say hi to me Alexia! Haven't seen you in ages and I hope you are doing ok! Anyway, its just your typical exotic food additive changes the clueless patrons of the establishment, which has been going on for hundreds of years, right? Ancient Chinese secret huh? We've come a long way in 40 years!

Happy Towel Day to everyone that is a fan of Douglas Adams and his Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I leave you with this wonderful 1980's song I used to hear a lot on the Dr. Demento Show.

Life? Don't talk to me about life!

Wow! This happens to be my 600th post on the blog!

Made this one for Simone and Lady Victoria, two of my favorite Mistresses in the universe. Such a delightful couple of friends, and I think of them often. Making captions for my friends is a way of letting them know how much I value their relationship with me, even when I haven't talked to them in some time. I think that is one reason why I would be very reluctant to walk away from the blog and from the Haven. The rewards continually outweigh any negatives I have to deal with.

The caption was a blast to make, and I hope you get as much enjoyment out of reading it as I did when I created it on Saturday. I seem to make more like these than I ever have before, and its refreshing to be able to see a source picture and still have ideas on how to make it deliciously evil. This month has been about expanding the genre as best I can, and challenging myself (and hopefully everyone that reads this blog) to go beyond the comfort zone and stretch our creative limits. In doing so, we can keep that vital spark alive and avoid ruts and burn out.

Let me know what you think of this one! I haven't posted it yet to the Haven so you get the first look! If it helps you any, just think of yourself as the sissy maid husband preparing your wife Simone for a night she'll hopefully never forget!

And not one joke about having a small dingy!

I admit, I thought this was a hard one, and with only two submissions, I am guessing that many people were in the thought of, "What the fuck can we do with this?" You cannot deny though that it is quite the interesting photo, and it had definitely drawn me in. What could possibly be the actual story behind the image?

Well, luckily for me, the new system I put into place, with people submitting their stories in the comments of a DIY page, I was able to keep myself from reading what others had written. So finally, this morning, I wrote out what I had in mind when I put the picture into this caption setting months ago and its about as close to what I wanted to do as I think I was able to conjure up what I had wanted it to say when I first found the source photo.

For those who aren't quite following, I based this on Samuel Taylor Coleridge's epic poem, the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, and how instead of a albatross around his neck, the mariner has a more literal 'curse' of having the tragedy of the event right on his head. Pretty much like the saying, "well, if this fails, its on your head." and I liked the implications of people nowadays using "literal" incorrectly in our daily speech. If there is ever a chance for irony, I will certainly try to bend over backwards to accommodate it as best I can!

Looking at it now, I'm not quite sure if its truly an eternal curse, where she is still walking the earth 200 years later like "the Wandering Jew" in the present day, or if she was more of a contemporary of Coleridge himself, who either changed the story to a less fantastical realm, or simply got it wrong and she is trying to set the record straight. Nor do I know if she was physically changed into a woman, or if she was more compelled to look like that while still possessing some male appendages. Not sure if it really affects what the story is about, but whichever way you'd like to flavor it is fine with me.

Ian was the first to get in a submission, and worked up a rousing story of slight ribaldry.I'm sure tales like these have been around for centuries, and its always nice to have some implied lesbian sex in any TG caption. It was much easier to read though once I de-capitalized the entire thing! Next time Sweetie, just type it normally!

Helena went the modern route, so what is great is that we ended up with one from the 1800's and one from the 2010's! She also decided to add Simone and me into the mix, and I thank you for the ridiculous image of Simone trying to make me wear a ship on my head for any sort of contest! I know she's quite persuasive but I can't think of anything other than a shiny rock on my finger or money in my pocketbook that could get me to wear that .. unless she tried to use reverse psychology on me. maybe after the event, you, your girlfriend, Simone and me can all get some dinner and hit the clubs. I just have to make sure I don't rock the boat too much or I'll hit the deck!

Didn't think I was going to post this topic and NOT upload a song by Iron Maiden that covers pretty much the entire poem from beginning to end, did you? Great performance and great adaption!

Wonderful job by both Ian and Helena! Make sure you leave some comments below to let us know how we did on a pretty tough source photo.

Well, hopefully I have one coming soon!

As per what I had said when I posted this in Terri's folder a few weeks ago ...

I was trying to do my best to make you a caption where you were in the middle of a transformation, and I think I found a picture that worked perfectly, in that its obvious its a woman, but with the large shirt and boyish hair cut and only some makeup .. it made a convincing case for the half way point. I was also trying to make it cunning and ominous yet sweet at the same time. Hope I succeeded on all the points.

As I've mentioned most of this month, I was trying to do some things differently. I've done some mid-change captions in the past, and I thought it might be fun to do another, especially since I thought the source picture lent itself well to the idea. Here is another picture from the set, the one the gave me the idea to do a mid-change caption ...

I choose the one for the caption that gave me enough space to lay down my text without interfering too much with her body, and also gave as full of a body shot as possible, including heels.

When I was done, I didn't like the way I had set up the dialog between Damien and Terri. She was saying something and then gave him a compliment, and the response was to answer the first part of her statement. The reason why I did it was I wanted to make sure I had enough room for what I had to say and that way it fit the spaces within the caption. I didn't like the flow though at all.

However, writing a realistic conversation is much better when you have a banter going, snappy and filled with responses. Someone drives the conversation and the other replies, and then the dynamics can change and the other person leads the chat. I think I fixed the issue for the most part in the final version that is posted at the top. The "thanks." in the original was replying to the compliment, and at first I was going to get rid of it, but when I rearranged it, I thought it fit in more of a sarcastic response to the "nothing in common" line, so I kept it. Lastly, I added the "She's a keeper!" line to give it a touch of the sweet. I figured that Damien had figured out that his friend was a perfect mate, except for that whole pesky "being a guy thing" so he was taking steps to fix that AND settle down, even if he had to go to great lengths to make it happen for the good of both of them.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend! If you get a chance, try to watch the new show, Penny Dreadful, on Showtime. I guess it airs on Sunday nights, and there's been 3 episodes so far. Wonderful story so far and the sets are awesome. Its set in London in 1891, and so far has elements of Frankenstein, Dracula, Picture of Dorian Gray, Jack the Ripper and more

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Stop Staring at Me Dude!

I Reckon That You Might, I Say, You Might Be Stuck Like That!

Oklahoma Jones and the Crystal Dildo!

Learning a Life's Lesson... and DIY Results!

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A Better Love Life is the Target!

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The WAG Swag!

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Fuk Wit Me Gringo's Finest Chi-Mex Diner!

Upstairs, Downstairs, All around the House!

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Hope you find a really good girlfriend Damien!