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Cheating on the Test is Not Honorable!

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but my nails DO look very shiny!


Made this one for MissChinaGirl on the Haven a week or two ago as part of my resolution to caption some of the captioners that have been around forever. To me, its a typical, "You can't put 5 gallons of water into a 2 gallon jug," situation which makes it ripe for a TG caption. I'm not even going to argue that the original Kimiko didn't get the short end of the stick in that trade, though I'm sure with his brain, she was able to retain everything she already knew plus his old knowledge so that MIGHT just tip the scales in her favor, along with the new Kimiko's acquired massage and sexual skills making it a real no-brainer!

Part of making this caption was that I didn't want to do that whole pigeon English crap anymore but still stick her into an Asian body. Of course, airhead bimbos ARE airhead bimbos, regardless of ethnicity, so I had that going for me. Still dancing on the edge a bit with the nail salon, but you can't throw a rock in a mall without hitting a Chinese run boutique so I will plead the fifth on this one, PLUS an area Chinese Buffet was closed down when the owner was busted for human trafficking, so this caption does have some reality behind it.

Going to be an awesome Super Bowl coming in two weeks. I think it could go either way, and I had no problem with Seattle bing favored, though I guess in Vegas it's now a "Pick'em" game. What a great ending to the Seattle - Green Bay game, and the Pats dominated by the Colts, so much so that they are accusing the Patriots of playing with deflated balls! I"m assuming that is what the Pats did to Indy just by playing in the game! "Deflated balls" sounds like the title of a some TG Cheerleading Caption!




The Distinguished Gentleman from ...

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Now this is "change" we can all believe in!


Tonight is the State of the Union Address, and I don't usually get too political on here, I saw this picture and thought up something that would work with it, and tied it in with our wonderful governing bodies and its policies. I singled out one member with this caption, who I think is indicative of the problems we are facing as a nation, the GOP senator from Oklahoma. This is a man who is going to once again be head of the "Environment and Public Works" committee in the Senate. Here's a quote from this charming man, "God's still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous." and of course, he voted against federal disaster relief for Hurricane Sandy. And of course, the real perpetrator of all this alarm over our climate .. the Weather Channel! "It's all about money. I mean, what would happen to the Weather Channel's ratings if all the sudden people weren't scared anymore?"

Its really good of him to fight the tough battles, against powerful people like the Weather Channel, and all their scientists! And of course, God could just fix our issues just by snapping his fingers! Maybe if we just voted more people like him into office, God would be back to running the US just the way he wants it run! Not like we are the New Holy Roman Empire, right? They had God on their side too and they are still in charge, right?

Anyway, on that note, I had some fun writing it up, and for those not in the know, and what I learned from Eddie Murphy, is that the term, "Distinguished Gentleman" is the polite way of saying, "Asshole" and I wanted to use that term because it really sets the caption up without using many words at all. Brevity is definitely needed in a caption such as this, where the picture dominates.

I brought up Pink Slime as well since pink seems to be the number one color for sissies and why not bring up another political pet peeve of mine .. that our leaders have seemed to jump on the Soylent Green bandwagon, while Europe and most everywhere else is leery to say the least. When you see what other countries have banned, and what sort of preservatives and crap the US allows ... you wonder if this government is FOR the people anymore, or if we are just becoming the vast Corporate States of America where EVERY Friday is BLACK Friday!


Hopefully God will continue to bless us ... I mean, once he takes care of the weather!

Waking Up Girly on Monday Morning!

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"Hi Boss! I'm calling out "female" today from work!"


Brittany7 made me a caption trade on the Haven involving her and I being sisters, well I didn't start out being a sister, but you know how this works in the TG universe ;) Figured I would return the favor with a caption of my own fixing her wagon, and I'm betting she didn't even know it was broken! Honestly, I'm not sure what else I can say about this caption. I think it's perfectly self explanatory and self-contained .. and I got to have a bit of fun with the last paragraph ,, castigating all of us for creating tall tales of boys being turned into girls! Why can we all be productive members of society instead of the online deviants we actually are? LOL


Daphne's Under a Gag Order!

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What's that Sweetie? Are you saying something?


Made this for LadyHarmony (formerly Wraithstrike) on the Haven, and I saw this picture while surfing on the intertubes and it looked more playful than nasty and mean. I took the idea from the way I viewed it. I went with a different font because I wanted to use her top as a design element of the caption setting and my typical font doesn't work well when there is white built into it.

I also made this while doing tech support for a customer's laptop computer, removing what for them was a nasty browser hijacker. So far so good for me, and I'm working on removing the last remnants (hopefully!) of the crap that was lurking about. They usually leave some sort of detritus behind, hoping to possibly reinfect the system again when it gets another opening, so I'm wandering around the registry looking for nasty tendrils left behind, then scanning once more before calling it a night.

For me, this is about as close as I'll get for being paid to make captions. There is lots of waiting around for routines to run while I'm fixing a computer so I always have something else to do in the meantime. I have my computer up and running anyway since I might have to research some code or nasty little bugger on ways to remove the tool that installed, so why not have some fun? I made this caption and about 80 percent of another (I can't figure out how to end it for now!) so I've got money in the bank AND more captions to post .. and I am passing the savings along to you!


Does this still look like a "Dee" caption, due to the change in font and other design changes?

Tiffany Realfield .. Artificially Sweetened!

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You don't have to be completely male to be an Alpha .. right?


Well, I made this for Realfield on the Haven, who also has a TG Blog that is listed in the left column of the bloggers, and whom you can find HERE. I am not sure I ever made her a caption, since I don't usually have enough of a story to plot out an Alpha Males downfall in complete terms. In a way, this could be set in a 6 month to a year period after most of Realfield's captions end .. where she's figured out her place in the world and how to get a leg up again.

Much of "success" and "power" is the artifice, or illusion, of what we define those two things to be. Each one of us has our own perception, and often we see a downfall and wonder, "they were incredibly successful, why would they do something stupid like THAT?" when in their head, they weren't there yet, or even worse, they were paranoid to think that others could take it away so they needed more! Nixon during Watergate is a good example of that as he did not need to have someone bug the hotel. Then again, if you have enough bodies buried, you want to make sure none of them get dug up I guess.

I think that is why everyone thinks that the "rich" should pay more taxes, but no one ever thinks of themselves as "rich" hence only people that make more money then them should have to pay more taxes! Its self-serving to say the least, but its the rationalization that lets "the rich" sleep well in that they are stimulating the economy by spending money on themselves instead of for the public good, whatever THAT means!

For me, making 250k a year salary would be a dream, as that is about 10 times as much as I bring home each year. Owning a home and being able to retire ever are things that are probably out of my reach, and my daughter is going to college through federal grants and some scholarships. My "new" car is 11 years old and ONLY has 125k miles on it, and is the newest car I've ever owned. To me, that 250k a year salary makes you a rich person!

However, that guy bringing home 250k is sitting there saying, "I own a house and have a vacation home in Florida where I go once a year for two weeks to relax, and hopefully retire there when I'm 65! How can I do that if they are giving me an unfair tax burden?!? I can barely afford to pay the 40k a year for private college tuition, while those brats are getting handouts to go to college with MY TAX MONEY! If their parents had a REAL job, perhaps they'd be able to support their offspring! Its not like I'm John Q. Moneybags at the Country Club who plays golf every day! I can barely find time to play a round or two on the weekend, like most blue collar workers!"

Yeah, I'm exaggerating a bit, but everyone under the earning capacity of Scrooge McDuck wants to be considered an Average Joe Punchclock who's getting screwed by "THE MAN" even though they are much more "THE MAN" than an actual duck!

Anyway, back to the actual caption. I took an Ann Rand approach I think that says, if you WERE an Alpha, you ARE one, just pick yourself up by your bootstraps (high heels here) and start over! Figure out what your best asset is, and exploit it for all you got! One of the key traits of "Successful" people is the ability to sniff out what is real and what is fake, and women usually are better at that, probably for reasons that I mentioned in the caption .. and she-males take that deception and amplify it twofold at the very least and rock that illusion.

In that sense, the only difference between a real woman and a she-male is the marketing. The surprise is what comes underneath, and is often unspoken. All the more reason to make sure that "what lies within" the person is what you want. You can always change the packaging, but the product inside needs to be exactly what you want. Let the shopper beware!


Tell me I'm right! Tell me I'm wrong! Tell me you enjoyed the caption anyway!

No Makeup .. and Time to Makeup!

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"Flair and Balanced" should be this blog's motto.


I think I hit a bit of a nerve with the last posting here and with the same caption on the Haven. Mostly that I was being hard on women I believe was the general conceit. Fair assessment I think, but it was done more so as a "honestly what *IS* the main difference between a genetic girl and a transgender person that identifies as a female?" I used she-male because that is what I had in the caption, and they tend to be more 'fetish'ized by outsiders than others.

I almost wonder if some got upset as more of a "how dare you tear females down from the pedestal that we usually place women of the female persuasion upon here in the TG genre?" I thought it more empowering in this case to make the case that Lady Tiffany was not only a woman, but a woman with extra pizazz. I have heard the argument that its hard for a male to compete with a lesbian for a woman's affection as she knows what the girl wants, well I think that perhaps we are also selling our sissy and transgendered folks short too then!

Anyway, I wrote this one around the same I wrote the last one, and I didn't have it in mind for anyone in particular. I was struck by just how pretty the model was with little to no makeup (whatever is there is pretty subtle), mussed up hair, and it was definitely the opposite of many glamour models we see in our usual TG captions.

It set up the story that I crafted, of two friends that probably had a fall out over a change of identity. You think you really know someone and then it shocks you out of the blue. Perhaps you felt deceived or left out of the thought process, or some of your self-image was built on being best buddies .. male buddies. Does it make you a girl, or gay, or whatever if a close friend comes out?

All feelings that affect both people. Being in this subculture, we know of the side this main character is going through. We often look at the other side as being uncaring if they don't accept what we'd like them to do for us. They see a deceit being played out upon them, when often the "lies" were being perpetrated more for the transpersons benefit .. a self-deception. They wonder themselves if the relationship was based on half-truths. In this realm, common decency and reaching out for understanding are the best paths for healing .. on both sides of the playing field .. which can hopefully give the participants a win-win scenario.

Hope everyone out there has a warm and safe Snowmageddon 2015 out there. Not looking forward to shoveling and/or driving in this when it all finishes up .. which might not be until Wednesday morning! Oh how I wish I was in Arizona with the Patriots! I'd deflate MY balls for a chance to keep them warm until all this upcoming snow melts!


This Caption Is Brought to You By the Letter ... 'H' !!

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They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said .. YES! YES! YES!


Just whipped this one up right now, and I didn't want to imply that anyone was on smack, so I made this a blog exclusive. When I saw the picture, I thought, "I'm so glad she got off HORSE!" which made me think about using it for a caption. Usually they give addicts methadone, but it is only slightly less addictive than the real stuff, though you can be weaned down somewhat. You also hear stories of people using things like kick boxing, woodworking, or some other ways to become "addicted" to other things that you can obsess over that don't have to potency of H.


Why not hook them onto something that many of the readers here seem to "jones" for .. femininity! Can't go wrong with that, right? Plus you'll be getting into shape, and possibly gaining a whole new career! Sounds like the perfect way to rehab! So you might end up with a closet full of high heels and drawers filled with lingerie, but who cares? I'm sure you can find a girlfriend that will share clothing instead of needles! You DO need emotional support when kicking something bad, you know?

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I am officially sick of snow after only ONE snowstorm! Well, we got 2 feet of snow here, which wouldn't be bad if we were in the country or suburbs. When you live in a city, and in an apartment with only one off street parking space, it is hell to deal with. "Where to put the snow" is complaint number one, and the second one is, "I took 3 hours to shovel out and some asshole is now in my spot when I get home? What the FUCK!" Hopefully we can get some sun and serious melting before Friday, where we are supposed to get a wet 1-3 inches of snow, then MORE snow on Monday! I'd put my arms up and scream, but right now, I can't get my left arm over my shoulders.

OH! To be in Arizona to watch the Patriots in the Super Bowl instead of being stuck here as MY balls deflate instead of Tom Brady's!


Have you made it this far down? Well, since you have. I am making a caption that will have a newly transformed drag queen she-male in it. First one to comment and list a male and female name gets to star in it. Otherwise, I have someone in mind for that position!

The Wrong Part of Town for Geoff ..

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.. but what about Dolly?


Well, I had originally made this one for Geoff/Dolly from Sissify Me Captions, but I figured I would open it up to someone that wouldn't mind starring in it, but I waited 2 days and no one volunteered, so back to Dolly! I'm sure she won't mind! I was hoping to find another person like her that I could steer captions like this toward, but no one too the bait!

I thought the picture was really fun to work with, and you really can't go with anything subtle with it. I think the photo was perfect for a "Wrong place at the right time" caption, and when I was proofreading it, I wonder if the secretary set Geoff up, or was it just happenstance. It wasn't my intention during the creation, but now I've got my suspicions. Speaking of being suspicious, I think this would be the second post in a row where the protagonist is taking some sort of drugs! I can't imagine either of these changed women "JUST SAYING NO!" in their new scenarios!

We hit 3500 comments the other day here, and I would like to thank every one that has left words of encouragement, disagreed with something I said, or was just being neighborly and dropped in to say "HI!" while they were in the area. Sometimes I just like to drop into an old caption and see what I wrote about and what responses I received. Perhaps it will jog an idea for a future creation or be a slight diversion in my day. So glad I can share it all with you!



February's Calendar Gurl!

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Yeah, I may have just stepped in it!


Well, I hope I didn't do anything more than just poke a bit of fun at "White Guilt" more than set racial relations back a few decades. "There goes Dee again, stirring up political shit once more!" I forgot which comedian brought up the fact that, of course, Black History Month gets the only month with less than 30 days in it!

I can totally see Frats making up calendars of their pledges all decked out in female garb, can't you? That was my thought, and I've seen a few Youtube clips where guys REALLY have to work makeup magic to make their cheek bones stand out and their 5 o'clock shadow disappear. I figure that it is probably easier to hide if you already have a dark complexion, and since the most famous drag queen is Rupaul, there must be something to it!


Hope you enjoy Super Bowl Sunday! Have lots of fun, but please be safe!


The Amazing Mentia Has Done It Again .. And DIY Challenge Results!

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You'll see I have nothing up my sleeves, because I'm not even wearing sleeves!


Started this one a few weeks ago and then stalled, and finished it up on Saturday. There wasn't enough of a plot involving someone so I pretty much knew it'd be a blog exclusive. I was going for something a bit different story wise, and it definitely doesn't feel fully realized for my tastes. In fact, I would say that I over thought the story and wrote my way into a corner. I do find it fairly descriptive though, so at the worst, it was a creative exercise to work through, and as such won't disappoint any recipient of a caption trade.

Here are the results of the DIY Challenge contest. Today has been mostly working from home in between bouts of shoveling the family out of snowbound hell, so I really don't feel up to commenting on the individual entries, though I did like them all. Next DIY Challenge WILL be harder!


First up above is Helena!


Next we have Brittany7 ..


And rounding out this Caption Challenge is Ian!

And thanks once again to everyone that visits this blog every day, as January 2015 was the biggest month we've ever had here! Over 160k views and over 80 comments!


Deidre the Schoolgirl Tutors Keith ...

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in the ways of love, or so he thinks!


Didn't have much time to caption tonight, but wanted to post something new so I went to a few websites that have a mass of images that can be viewed in a quick period of time. Found this one and the story line was about 80 percent complete in my head. I think it took about 10 minutes to create and about 3-5 to polish it up to a final glossy sheen as best I could. I mean, the text color is all supposed to be the same tone, but it looks darker up top. Down the bottom, I used the stroke tool to bring out the text a big more, and even then it doesn't look like the same hue.

Anyway, I couldn't find a way to spring the "Deidre is the BLONDE" until almost the end so reluctantly I put it where it fit best, and was created at the same time as the zinger. Hopefully it will have the same impact as I thought it would towards the end. And yes, Deidre is me! I like to think that its my "classy, God given name" for when I need to be sophisticated or innocent! In Gaelic, it means sorrowful, and could also be a connotation for 'fear' or 'raging woman'. That certainly sounds like it could be me!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Does the placement of the "blonde wig" change your perception of the caption, akin to spoiling the ending? I mean, yes Keith DOES get it in the end(!) but did you have that inkling beforehand due to the early foreshadowing?



Summer Fun For Sis ... and The Next DIY Challenge!

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Be careful who you try to get in trouble!


Made this one today, once again just looking at photos for inspiration. Figured it was better just to make it a blog exclusive instead of trying to shoehorn someone in on a trade caption.

I just realized that I haven't visited Fictionmania in almost a week. I'd like to think that I could chalk that up to being ADHD and not having the attention span to read TG Fiction anymore, but I don't think that necessarily is the answer. Considering that I still make TG Captions and have fantasies from time to time, and still read transformational stories and visit sites like The Lab and The Mind Control Story Archive .. and even have purchased a few videos via Clipsforsale .. I am wondering if FM's impact is lessening or maybe mediocrity of stories in general has made me a less likely visitor. What are your thoughts on the current state of Fictionmania?


Time for the next DIY Challenge! I made this caption setting back when I was working on the post for "Boxing Day" and had an extra picture that I liked. Figured it would make a great DIY Challenge. The deadline will be February 20th at midnight PST. Please post your story in the LATEST DIY comments section, or make your own caption by taking the setting and putting text to it. If you do, upload it to my trading folder on the Haven with "DIY" in the title. I also want to say that you can have anyone star in these captions, I know people have me as a character in them sometimes, but you do not have to stroke my ego or anything. The main thing I hope for is some creativity and a great story to match the chosen picture. Hope to see lots of entries for this one!


These lyrics fit pretty well!
"I know its done for me .. if you steal my sunshine!"

The Second Chance at a First Impression

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Probably the best way ever to reboot your life!


Made this one for KarenSue and had the picture for about a week or two before laid it out in caption format. Even at that point, my idea was, as I posted in her trading folder, "trying to make a caption where the protagonist was trying to impose masculine traits for others to follow and ways they could work around "I will do X but only if I don't have to do Y," and this picture was perfect for that!"

What had caught my eye was the amount of fabric in the gown that covered little of her body. It almost seemed like a case where a school said, "your outfits NEED to have at least 8 yards of fabric in them to keep you modest" and this was the girl got around that rule. Also, her hairstyle helped support the constrictions that Reggie had placed upon them, as its not that different than what Beiber was rocking a year or two ago. The facial expression was perfect for the unveiling too, so I glad-fully took everything the photo presented to me and repackaged it into a caption I enjoyed creating and reading, even a week later.

We are hunkered down again, stuck in this seemingly endless loop of a Sunday through Monday night big snow storm with a less one hitting midweek. It'd have been a bit nicer if Mother Nature had decided to spread these things out more in December and early January instead.


For those who remember, I never went to my prom, and pretty much spent the night drinking with some friends underneath a bridge. I probably should have forced myself to go, but for most people, it is NEVER really as magical as the movies and song make it out to be. I can't imagine how you can really have fun in a suit and tie or a tuxedo, something I've only done twice, thank Goddess!

The Future is the Past that Hasn't Happened Yet!

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There is a reason they call "The Present" just that word!


The next few captions will be more metaphysical in nature. This one I created for Jezebel from the Haven, who has characters that are pixies, and I often view her in the warm shades of color, and as an empath. In that sense, this picture drew out such a diverse color palette that I wanted to draw it all in, with the green balancing all the other colors I mentioned in the caption.

I think people do not need a huge understanding of any sort of mysticism to get the caption, and if you wish to read a bit more about auras, you can click RIGHT HERE for more information. The caption as a whole just relates to finding oneself and there are many different ways and paths we can use to become centered, whether spiritual or with more worldly pursuits. I know a few people that were wild and off the beam until they had a child.

Its all about a sense of self, how we see ourselves and how that fits into the connectivity of our earthly realm. The section here, both in the caption and in the scope of this blog, coincide with gender, and how elastic we wish to be, physically, mentally and emotionally. Like the colors of the rainbow, we all have our own range of perceptions and how comfortably we can engage in them.

The best way to expand our borders is to look outside of them, to the limits that others set for themselves. To me, there is no such thing as information overload, since you can just discard rather quickly things that don't fit to your ethos, or at least let them simmer on the back burner until you can process it better. "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." is a quote by Kierkegaard, but why should we have to make our own mistakes, when we can learn from others?

"OH THE MISTAKES we could fix if we could only relive them!" Who says you cannot? We have limitless imaginations, one that can certainly give us big tits and the adventures of a bimbo slut .. why not "fix" the mistakes of the past, even if its only in our minds? Should we though? I'm all for healing the psyche, as what lies underneath definitely influences our current path. The problem lies not with the healing, but the constant living in the past that often this route can dig up.

So listen to your elders, and create a dialog with your peers. This collective knowledge exists as a existential life-preserver that is weaved into the fabric of all our lives. Whether its religious tracts, social media, or a sentence on the inside cap of a Snapple bottle, let it wash over you!

Hmmm, I did a bit of rambling there, didn't I? Oh well! Its up to you whether you think its useful or a bunch of twaddle! I hope you enjoy either way!


Bring on the Night, As It Always Leads to the Morning!

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I'm not always coherent, but I do have a way with words. Please read!



Made this for Werewomaniac on the Haven, who has been there forever, and yet I hadn't ever made them a caption. I read the preferences and thought about the screen name itself, and wanted to approach the TG transformation in a different way.

Male and female are just states of being essentially. Theoretically, the state of being one gender or another shouldn't make a difference, though from a societal standpoint, it is just now becoming balanced. Biologically it is a crap shoot, one sperm out of gazillions got through. Being comfortable in our own skin is more problematic, but that is an issue of identity, which we've covered much more thoroughly in many of my other posts.

I thought about the rebirth of our essence, a soul if you wish, and how it, and we evolve over time. In this case, Alan isn't quite immortal, but it is obvious he's changed MANY times. He/She is beyond the point of seeing the metamorphosis as a blessing or curse and accepted it as another part of life itself. The change itself does not matter to April, it is what come after that makes the difference.

Its not an uncommon theme in my TG captions. Usually the physical change isn't the reason the story exists, it is a catalyst for how things are going to be different mentally, emotionally, or trans-formative in another realm. For those who miss that underlying current, I hope I have enough other elements to make it an enjoyable viewing experience. If it does show through, then I hope it enhances the overall presentation.

There are subtexts underneath this that are there below the surface. The Vernal Equinox is in March, which historically is the date when day and night are approximately the same length again, after the winter where you don't often see the sun. It ties in with many religious celebrations, including Easter in Christian communities, and they often invoke a sense of rebirth. Her female name is April, which is when Spring usually rears its head, the ground thaws and flowers are budding.

All the elements came together for me here with the story I wished to convey with the source photo. She looks disheveled, as if she had been wandering around dazed through the woods. Its a pleasing body, with the classical Roman, idealized female shape .. as if chiseled by the old Gods themselves. If one wanted to know what a Were-woman looked like, it'd probably be something like this.

Originally, I was going to end it along the lines of "Now hopefully could find his manservant, Jenkins, as quickly as possible so he could be dressed for breakfast." but bringing it back to the mundane wasn't needed. I wanted its voice to stay the same throughout, and with that coda it wouldn't have carried the same weight. Besides, the "rich" could be read more to be fulfilled in ways other than monetary.

This caption is probably a huge hit or miss proposition, and needs to be read between the lines, otherwise its some adjectives and affirmations with a nice set of knockers propping up the story. Either way, it is perfect for this blog, and what I set out to do when creating it .. here is your metaphorical shovel, dig as deep as you'd like. Let me know what you think!


I had listened to this disc a few days before I made this caption, and wondering if it inspired me without me even knowing it!

Missing the Target Completely!

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It is a new dynamic between the two, and one he'll have to get used to I'm sure!


Made this one for Kat Vandee a few minutes ago. This is a much more straightforward caption about a life changed and rearranged into something new. I wrote much more about the last two, which did need the exposition, but I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Can't see any deep hidden meaning there, unless there is some possible cuckolding that is going to happen. Maybe Simon's wife just wants some deep dickin' from time to time and Kat won't cut the mustard now.

More snow coming our way, on Thursday and probably over the weekend too! Not exactly what I wanted for Valentine's Day, trust me!


If you want to read something with more substance, check out the last two caption posts. Otherwise, this is more of a breather post. Should have more captions posted soon! Remember that there is a touch more than one week to go in the DIY Challenge! Only one entry in so far!

Happy Valentine's Day .. Lingerie AGAIN?

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Sometimes we just can't take a hint!


Made this one for Sarine Davis (Belladonna on Fictionmania) and it was influenced by something I have been hearing all week on the radio. As I wrote in her trading folder:
This was inspired by all the "last minute Valentines' gift" commercials playing on sports radio stations for clueless guys, for things like "50 shades of grey" teddy bears with tiny handcuffs and glow in the dark lingerie from pajama-grams. I can imagine quite a few women giving their hubby's grief, especially if they buy a size larger than what they are!
It gave me the idea from which I created this caption, so for once, the story drove me to look for a picture. Honestly, I wasn't feeling most of the photos I pulled up on Google, so I finally decided to look for a model that just looked like I knew Sara should look, if you know what I mean. I don't find this outfit trashy at all, and I'm betting 70 percent of the women out there would agree with me.

My Valentine's Day is probably going to be spent stocking up for the next snow storm that is hitting us starting early afternoon and is supposed to give us another foot of snow! ARRGHH! Like we really needed anymore, and we've got another round coming a few days after this one! This is the first year in like 20 that it is really starting to get to me. At least I don't have to work in Boston, as they've been having problems with the MBTA for the entire week and it looks like it could get even worse. On top of all that, I'm coming down with something, and everyone else that has had this seems to take weeks to really feel better. I ain't got time for that!

Hope your Valentine's Day is better than mine, but at least I'll be snowed in with my girlfriend, and possibly my daughter since her boyfriend is blowing her off for two weeks of snowboarding! I think I'll stock up on chocolate and ice cream in case she decides to mope, and hide the ammo in case she wants to go hunting for a jackass in New Hampshire!


Fifty First Dates of Grey!

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Can't forget to remember, or remember to forget! Maybe he's not so dumb after all!


Made this one for Dani Colorado as another part of my New Year's Eve resolution to caption more of the vintage members of the Haven. This is an example of making a caption on the fly, as I thought the source photo was pretty cool, but didn't really have a set idea, other than I was going to probably get to write some bimbo dialog, which is ALWAYS fun!

I started with the first few lines, then wondered how he would hit on her. Perhaps with something stupid to match her lack of understanding. What could be more dumb than an Adam Sandler Movie Festival? I needed a reason for the girl in the picture to have been a boy in the past .. and as I was thinking about the movies I have seen of his, and ones I hadn't .. I remembered the plot of one of his movies with Drew Barrymore in it. Well, I at least had a title, which coincidentally sort of blends in well with a movie that came out this weekend!

Well, I could certainly wrap the rest of the caption up around that plot which I hope most people at least have a familiarity with, and if not, I'm hoping they'll be able to figure it out with her lines. Then, to finish it off, I then imply that he knows her, which she vaguely catches before the "zinger" references her shirt.

Total seat of the pants writing, and somehow I think it worked, tying the picture together with the plot enough and not leaving anything important out. There can be implications, like does he know she was a guy, or is just taking advantage of the bimbo she's become? Maybe if he's known her a few days, she has had moments of clarity and given him enough information for him to have an idea. However, I don't think we can draw too many conclusions from this.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Do you think this is a coherent caption? Is the TG portion of this implied enough or was it more of a bimbo caption? Was it ok for a quickie that was written without any sort of guideline before I started typing?


A Cold Shower for You as Dee is Steaming Mad!

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"Coming Clean" was never an option, was it? Please read, blog update inside!


Made this caption for Charlotte about a week ago as part of my New Year's Resolution, which so far has been a pretty good success. I guess you could call this a "process" caption, since the changes are happening directly within the story, as you are reading it. I don't do them that often, but they can be fun to make, and with this source photo, I thought it was a good fit.

Sorry about no post on Monday. Usually I don't go more than a day between blog posts, but I am dragging ass. I've been sick with an ear infection since Friday and I wasn't able to get treated for until this morning due to the long President's Day weekend. We also got 20 inches of snow dumped upon us AGAIN with another 3-5 supposedly today. The storms just keep coming, one after another, as we'll have snow on Thursday and Saturday. Not only that, but we've had a wind chill of -35 fahrenheit on Sunday! While I'm not a fan of Summer at all, I WOULD like to see a week of above freezing temperatures to even things out and perhaps melt a bit of snow and ice, since most of the snow banks are at least 6-8 feet tall now, which makes driving hazardous. I know 2 people that have died due to ice/snow car accidents in the last 6 weeks, and a friend of my daughters was in a car that was totaled about 2 miles from where the 2nd person died about 3 days prior. For the first time, I can honestly say I hate New England weather, as this has just been so relentlessly bleak. Here's a good example of how people are feeling HERE or HERE.

I might take a few more days off from posting, or however long it takes, as I think this weather is not only affecting my mood negatively, but impacting the captions I'm making and/or trying to make. I'm usually a happy person, even when I'm evil in captions, its more "Dee-vil" than anything malevolent or truly dark. My captions are the movie "Heathers" at the most. I want to say that this has nothing to do with this blog or anything relating to our genre, but seems to be a seasonal depression, something which I can't say I've ever had to deal with .. and I don't like it at all. I have trouble sleeping and don't want to get up in the morning. I worry about the safety of family and friends. I barely leave the apartment.

I wanted to let everyone know what was going on, mostly because I worried so much last night about not posting something, but if I did, it would've been dark and angry. I am going to be fine, and I will power through this. I've gone through much worse.



Shit, Shower and Shave?!? Late Again!

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Time to get moving .. it's date night!


Yeah, it's definitely not a new caption, but something from 2008! I think it is a great picture, and since it was early in my captioning "career" I would like to think that it made me keep trying to pick interesting photos instead of standard model poses or typical blowjob pictures. I used WAY too many colors in the text which is slightly distracting to me now but I was only 2 months into making captions at the time so it was still my "feeling things out" process in finding my footing.

I don't usually go back this far into the Dark-hives that often anymore, but I wanted to get a posting up to this blog along with a reply to comments from the last post. I am not sure how many people go back and look at comment replies, so I figured I'd repost it here as well so everyone would see it.

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I was going to reply to each of you individually, but it is probably better if I do it all in one so I don't have to repeat myself. The main response is, "THANK YOU! I truly appreciate you all, especially those who respond and interact with me as I post what can be often personal feelings."

I am doing what I can to hopefully be back to 100 percent. I am on antibiotics and was able to take a half day off on Tuesday for a doctors appointment, then worked from home the rest of that day so at least I got a bit of rest.

What's made all this worse is that our fire alarm systems are old and are very temper-mental, meaning they've been going off for over a week now, usually around 3 AM and since they are hard-wired into the electrical system, there is NO WAY to turn them off! Since the landlord lives 50+ miles away and is trying to sell the building, no one has even been able to contact him .. and the fire department has been down 3 times. Looking at the forecast, I can't foresee this getting any better for the next few weeks. So on top of all the above winter shit, throw an hour of non-stop sirens going off in your apartment in the middle of the night when you are sick ... I think you can see how frazzled I, and my family, have been.

I am not sure when I'll be back captioning, and I truly wish I had an answer for you, and for me. It could be on Saturday if I have some time, or it could be when things normalize, which honestly, I don't know when that could happen. I thank you all for the support, and hope you'll continue to pop in daily and visit to see what's going on.
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At the very least, I'll try to have some more Dark-hive material every few days. I think there are some captions I haven't posted here that are decent enough to put up, or perhaps I'll go over some things people made for me that I enjoyed. I'll figure something out. We'll also have the DIY Challenge posted in the next day or two so .. Stay tuned!


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